Nanny State Setback in Mexifornia
Source: News Max [12/24]

A Mexifornia law that would "protect" tykes under age 18 from being exposed to violent video games starting on January 1, 2006 got derailed in federal court this week. Determining that the two parties challenging the law - the Video Software Dealers Association and the Entertainment Software Association - "were likely to succeed" in their lawsuit, U.S. District Court Judge Ronald Whyte granted the two parties a preliminary injunction. It's the fifth time in six years that a federal court struck down state and local laws that impose restrictions on the sale of video games to minors.

The law in question paints a bull's-eye on the capitalist who sell the games, plus those who manufacture them, by imposing fines and labeling requirements. The promoters of these Nanny State regulations insist that - stop me if you've heard this one before - "it's for the children".

Blame Shifting
Source: L.A. Daily News [12/23]

The Facts:

The driver, Douglas Domel, admits that he'd been drinking, was driving too fast and tried to negotiate a curve with excessive speed. His car skidded off the road, hit a dirt berm, making his sports car roll over. An hour after the accident, Dougie's blood alcohol level was still an elevated 0.06, making him street legal, but, obviously unsafe behind the wheel of his high powered ride.

Who he's blaming:

Newhall Land and Farming Company: a firm that is doing some road construction at the site of the accident. The dirt berm which is 10 to 20 feet off the road is there for flood control purposes, but Dougie is suing them anyway because their berm made his ride roll over.

The city of Santa Clarita: Why? Deep, taxpayer pockets of course. He claims the posted speed limit is 50, but city offials, and those at Newhall Land says it's 10 in the construction zone. Dougie blames the city for his stupidity.

Chrysler Corportation: The 2001 Dodge Viper he was driving so recklessly, is responsible for his accident, some damn how. Why? More deep pockets.

The Likely Outcome:

Since a court allowed the lawsuit to proceed, one or more of the deep pockets will pay this lead-footed asshat, just to make him go the hell away.

Arnold Bitch-Slaps Graz
Source: PIG News Wire [12/21]

"In all likelihood, during my term as governor, I will have to make similar and equally difficult [clemency] decisions. To spare the responsible politicians of the city of Graz further concern, I withdraw from them as of this day the right to use my name in association with the Liebenauer Stadium." (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

When Mexifornia's action hero governor refused to grant quadruple murderer Tookie Williams clemency, he did more than ruin Tookum's whole day. In addition to "thrilling" the usual suspects - Mike Farrell, Je$$e, and every Ethnocrat meathead in the no longer "Golden" State - he set off a political firestorm in his Austrian birthplace, Graz. When Tookums got what he so richly deserved, certain Graz pinheads started circulating a petition to have Arnold's name removed from the city's sports stadium. Big, big fun.

Unwilling to put up with that crap from these Austrian whiners, Arnold beat them to the punch with a letter to the city's political hacks. In addition to demanding that they remove his name from the stadium, right damn now, Arnold also ordered the city of Graz to stop using his name in "to advertise or promote the city of Graz in any way". Making his feelings perfectly clear, Arnold returned the "ring of honor" that the city gave him in 1999:

'...The ring was given to him in a ceremony in Graz in 1999. At the time, Schwarzenegger said he considered it "a token of sincere friendship between my hometown and me. "Since, however, the official Graz appears to no longer accept me as one of their own, this ring has lost its meaning and value to me. It is already in the mail."...' (AP)

This pagan scribbler has no idea how you say "bite me" in Austria, but, obviously, Arnold does. For defending his decison so forcefully, Arnold is in the running for our Hero of the Week honors.

Update:

We have two follow-up quotes on the Arnold "Bite me, Graz" epic:

Mayor of Graz

'...Siegfried Nagl, mayor of the southern city of Graz, said he dashed off a letter to Schwarzenegger pleading with him not to return a ring of honor bestowed on him by officials in his birthplace in 1999 and reassuring him that most residents still admire him. "I hope that very soon we'll hear you say, 'I'll be back,'"...' (AP)

Arnold

"Graz will not have problems in the future with my decisions as governor of California, because officially nothing connects us any more. The death penalty is law here, and I have to uphold the law of the land and the will of the people."

PIG
Which part of "bite me" didn't you understand, Graz dude?

Fixing Mexifornia's Prisons
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [12/20]

Thanks to a recent U.S. Supreme Court ruling, Mexifornia's prison crowding problem is on a crash course to a bloody resolution. The fun started in February of 2005, when the nation's highest court ruled that Mexifornia's practice of racially segregating inmates didn't pass Constitutional muster. In a legal settlement that was concluded this week, Mexifornia's prison authorities agreed to stop assigning prisoners cells based on race. Here's the official spin, for those who obsess on such trivia:

'...The new policy states "that race is not to be used as the sole determining factor in housing the offender population. The goal is to ensure the implementation of racial desegregation in a manner that maximizes institutions' safety." (Prison System spokeswench, Terry Thornton as quoted by the Chronicle)

Under this scheme Mexican Mafia gang bangers might get lucky and wind up bunking in with a Crips. A skinhead could end up in a cell with a Blood. What could possibly go wrong?

Another Mexifornia Boondoggle
Source: Sacramento Bee [12/14]

It's a damn shame that Mexifornia's liberal scumbags - especially those in certain tree hugging cabals - don't read PIG News. Why? Because, if they did, they'd be up to speed on the way cities like Los Gatos ripoff homeowners who install solar power gear on their homestead ("Nanny State Greed" 12/05/05). Blissfully ignorant of these facts, these tree hugging dweebs spout drivel about cleaning the air, while they try to bribe Mexifornia taxpayers into going solar. As bribes go, this one is spiffy, because, for starters, the taxpayers are being bribed with their own stolen money. The generous to a fault - with somebody else's money - environmental activists call this steal from Peter to pay Paul scheme "The California Solar Initiative":

'...The PUC [Public Utilities Commission] currently offers $400 million in solar rebates through programs funded by a surcharge on consumer utility bills. The new initiative would expand that amount to $3.2 billion through an additional surcharge over 11 years starting in 2006. Under the program, home and business owners who install solar panels would at first be eligible for a $2.80 rebate for each watt of capacity they install. For example, a homeowner who installs a 2,000-watt system could receive a $5,600 rebate from the PUC. The rebate amount would decrease by 10 percent each year until consumers would only be eligible for a 25-cent-per-watt rebate in 2016. But regulators anticipate that as the market for solar power expands, costs will drop and offset the decreasing rebate amounts...' (Bee, emphasis added)

The last damn thing Mexifornia needs - or can afford - is another taxpayer funded, Nanny State intrusion into the marketplace. But, don't try to tell that to the pinheads who see the Nanny State as the be all, end all when it comes to resolving any perceived problem. If you bribe people into buying solar power through subsidies, the capitalists who make solar power gear have no incentive to find ways to give the consumer a better product for less money. This fact is demonstrated perfectly, by the costs and quality of higher education. Higher education is, largely, subsidized and, as a direct result, the costs keep rising while the quality of the education keeps decreasing. The Ivory Towers have no marketplace incentive to lower costs or improve the product, because the Nanny State keeps throwing more money at them. Computers, on the other hand, are not subsidized, but, thanks to marketplace forces, computers keep getting better, faster, and much more powerful while the prices keep coming down.

Solar power will, in the fullness of time, come into its own, without any Nanny State interference. Sooner or later, as other energy costs keep rising, solar power will reach critical mass, because, comparatively speaking, it will be - bang for the buck wise - a sound, money-saving investment. This change will happen when profit-seeking capitalists find innovative ways to provide a better product at a lower cost. The Nanny State needs to butt the hell out and let the marketplace do what comes naturally.

Nanny State Greed
Source: Contra Costa Times [12/05]

Silicon Valley dwelling homeowners who decide to save money on their energy bill by installing solar panels are in for a rude awakening. It won't get fun until they seek the relevant permits from city bureaucrats. The first fun fact they encounter is that some city hacks make the permit process long, complicated and deliberately discouraging. The second, more annoying, fact is that some city hacks nail you with such hefty fees that the anticipated energy cost savings are gutted. According to a survey by a Mexifornia chapter of the Sierra Club, the fees range from a modest $50 to an eye-popping $1,620. The difference in price has to do with the fee methodology. All those cities on the low end charge a flat rate. Those in the nose bleed range assess fees based on the value of the solar panels and asinine "costs" associated with the permit process.

For the "official" view on these fees, we present this bureaucratic bloviating:

"We're not trying to make money here. We are trying to recover our costs. Certainly solar is a very good thing. But there are lots of good things. There are heating and air conditioning systems that are very energy-efficient. Should we give those people a break? The average citizen then is subsidizing that work." (Bud Lortz, Los Gatos director of community development as quoted by the Contra Costa Times)

Your costs are self-inflicted, assclown. Maybe if you pulled your head out of your butt, you could streamline your bureaucracy the way San Jose has. Their "costs" are a mere $220, and they employ several full time solar panel inspectors. Better still, they manage to get the permit issued within minutes, instead of the weeks/months in your lefty-infested blight.

Setting aside all the spin doctored drivel that high fee blights like Los Gatos ($1,287) and Millbrae ($1,620) spout, we get back to the burning, inalienable liberty question: why should a homeowner be forced to pay this extortion to the city? Why should he pay to make an improvement on his own property that does not impact the city, or his neighbors in any meaningful way?

Afterthought:
You know that cities like Los Gatos and Millbrae are in the bureaucratic Twilight Zone when the tree hugging lefties in the Sierra Club disses them. In their report, the Sierra Club opined that all Bay Area cities should encourage solar power installations by speeding up the permit process and keeping the fees under $300.

Mexifornia Judges' New Scheme
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [12/03]

Mexifornia's judges borrowed a page from the Mexifornia legicrat playbook and devised a scheme that would immunize them from the political slings and arrows launched by outraged citizens. Their scam has two primary goals: locked in budgets and enhanced job security. Here are a few of the fetid facts:

Job Security I: Under their proposal, newly-appointed judges would get a 6 year, on the job, honeymoon, before they could be called to account in the voting booth. They wanted 10 years, but settled for a modest 6 years instead.

Job Security II: If appointed to serve out the term of a State Supreme Court Justice, the newly appointed justice would get a two-year honeymoon, before taking his, her, hisher or its chances at the ballot box for the full 12-year term.

Locked in revenue: Emulating the state's Educrat cabal, these black robed "public servants" would be guaranteed to 'receive at least the same level of state funding as it did the previous year'. In other words, Mexifornia could be flat broke and in hock up to its eyeballs, but these black robes would still get their pound of taxpayer funded flesh.

Self enrichment: Instead of the current salary schedule that is set by state law, a commission would be appointed to set the judges' salaries.

This "we want our cut, damn it", scheme could land on the Mexifornia ballot as a proposed amendment to the state constitution. Before that can happen these black robes need to coerce two-thirds of the state legislature into approve it. Bold New Concept.

Gutless In Mexifornia
Source: Pagan Scribbler Hissy Fit [12/02]

Throughout his long political hack career, a Mexifornia punk named John Campbell, routinely, appeared on KFI's top rated John and Ken show. He checked in with the colorful boom box duo because he liked the name recognition he got from appearing on L.A. radio's 800 pound broadcasting gorilla. Campbell continued that trend during the initial phase of his campaign to win the 48th congressional district's vacant seat, by appearing at a pre-election debate hosted by John and Ken. That was then, but things have changed.

After he failed to win the seat outright, John promised to appear at a second KFI-hosted debate scheduled for the eve of the election. It would give him a chance to face off with his primary rival for the seat, Minuteman founder Jim Gilchrist, one last time before the voters punched those chads. Subsequently, as his lead over his rivals widened, John went girlie and dumped the KFI hosted debate so he could appear on the low rated talk show hosted by VRWC Kool-Aid drinker Emeritus, Hugh Hewitt. Why face a John and Ken interrogation when he could field softball questions from an Elephant Clan toady like Hewitt?

When Campbell pleaded his inability to appear on both shows, due to time and travel considerations, KFI offered to fly him to the debate by helicopter. He refused. They also offered to reset the time for the debate to give him a chance to participate. Again, he refused. They offered to let him participate by phone, or from their studio, but he refused that too. He refused because he's a gutless political punk whose record on border jumping scumbags doesn't stand up to close scrutiny. The last damn thing he wants on election eve is a John and Ken grilling over his border jumping scumbag coddling voting record:

'...In 2000, The Orange County Register reported that Campbell thought illegal immigrants should receive the same benefits as citizens "since the federal government has not controlled the border to prevent the immigrants from coming in." As an Assembly member, in 2002, Campbell voted to allow illegal immigrants in state universities to pay in-state tuition and approved the use of Mexican government-issued ID cards for official purposes...' (O.C. Weekly)

Baring some parting of the Red Sea class miracle, this border jumping scumbag coddling, Davie Dreier clone weasel will win the open 48th Congressional District seat. That might thrill the Elephant Clan open borders cabal, but it's the last damn thing that Mexifornia wants or needs. John Campbell isn't everything that's wrong with the Elephant Clan, but he's a top contender for "why Amerika is screwed" poster punk.

---

Oakland's "Hate Crime"?
Source: Oakland Tribune (Mexifornia) [11/25]

Nation of Islam spokesdolts insist that it's just a coincidence, but the facts tell a different story. A few days ago, two dozen, Melanin-Enriched men wearing classic Nation of Islam garb - dark suits and bow ties - vandalized two Oakland liquor store, making this "mistaken identity" claim a hard sell. Wearing the aforementioned Nation of Islam attire, the men entered the store carrying metal pipes then broke the liquor bottles, knocked over racks then vowed to come back if the store continued to sell adult beverages to their Melanin-Enriched clientele.

Oakland officials posted extra patrols to protect adult beverage selling capitalists. The proper authorities are also making noises about calling these liquor store attacks "hate crimes" since the store owners are Arab and the attackers Melanin-Enriched. Since none of the alleged perps is whitey, PIG News seriously doubts that this "hate crime" bovine excrement will get off the drawing board.

Will The Real Mao Please Stand Up?
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [11/25]

The Marxist Meatheads in Berkeley Mexifornia have their panties in a wad because a new biography of Berkeley hero, Chairman Mao, gets a bit too real about this room temperature commie rat bastard. Written by Jung Chang and Jon Halliday, "Mao: The Unknown Story" paints a grim, albeit accurate, portrayal of this commie clown:

'..[The authors portray Mao] as a cynical hedonist who rose to absolute power on Soviet strongman Josef Stalin's muscle and his willingness to crush millions of peasants in famine, war and sadistic repression. The authors, who spent a decade on the project and scoured private and government records in China and Russia, say Mao killed 10 times more innocents than Hitler and was as pitiless as he was incompetent as a revolutionary. The fabled Long March of the 1930s? Bungled. The Cultural Revolution of the '60s and '70s? Nothing more than a murderous fit of pique by a tyrant upset that he'd been crossed by rivals and enamored of public torture. Mao was, however, a genius of spin. The authors say he sold international leftists a fairy tale of a corrupt state transformed by revolution from the bottom up...'

"During the 10 years of the Cultural Revolution, he turned China into a cultural desert. He made torture public. My mother went through over a hundred of those denunciation meetings. She was made to kneel on broken glass and so on. China must be the most traumatized nation in the world." (Co-author Jung Chang as quoted by the Chronicle)

You gotta know that Beserkeley's Marxist Meatheads won't take that lying down.

'..."It's just outrageous," said Gary Miller, a volunteer at Berkeley's Revolution Books, as he leafleted the authors' event on campus. "A lot of people look with a great deal of affection at the Mao years because China's been turned into one giant sweatshop."...'

"What sets this apart from other historical studies is that this person Mao, who led an historic revolution and changed the landscape of China and was an inspiration throughout the world -- they're saying this was a scheming, bloodthirsty opportunist who was evil from the day he was born to the day he died and who hijacked a revolution. I think it's part of a continuing attempt to discredit communism and Maoism and any alternative to the current world order." (Raymond Lotta, Maoist political economist and author as quoted by the Chronicle)

Okay, now we get it. It's wrong to paint Mao as a "scheming, bloodthirsty opportunist" because, although Mao was all those things, these facts are a deadly theat to the cherished delusions about this commie thug that Marxist Meatheads continue to perpetuate. Bold new concept.

More Big Berkeley Fun
Source: World Net Daily [11/15]

Today's stop the presses Educrap moment comes to us from the Berkeley (Mexifornia) government cess-school, where the newest club on the block is - we're not making this up - the school's Condom Club. Living down to its name, this student cabal offers any student that asks for them 12 free condoms a week, a freebie that puts a whole new spin on the venerable moniker "a dirty dozen". Unwilling to wait for students to discover their peculiar form of generosity, the Condom Club is going to great lengths to make sure every - damn - body hears about it:

'...An ad for the club in the Student Daily Bulletin read: "Having sex? Thinking about having sex? Come to CONDOM CLUB at lunch in A205. One meeting will get you a sticker on your ID that gives you 12 free condoms each week from the BHS Health Center...' (WND)

An e-mailed version of this student fishwrap contained the same advertising, plus, the club broadcast their offer, several times, over the school's public address system.

PIG confesses that this breaking news didn't shock, surprise or startle us in the least. It strikes us a par for the course for Berkeley, a town whose zip code is deep in the differently-rational Twilight Zone.

Gulag Does What Comes Naturally
Source: PIG News Wire [11/11]

The Gulag's (PIG-speak for San Francisco) denizens stumbled to the polls Tuesday to enact two classically-lefty, city-wide propositions. We'll take each in turn:

Citywide Handgun Ban

Gun Control, n.
A Korrectnik scheme that disarms law abiding citizens to make it safe for armed and dangerous criminals to ply their trade.
(Stealth Dictionary)

Garnering 58% of the votes cast, Proposition H 'prohibits the manufacture and sale of all firearms and ammunition in the city, and makes it illegal for residents to keep handguns in their homes or businesses' (News Max). The new gun banning edict gives gun owners until April to turn in their handguns. It's still legal to own a shotgun, but it's only a matter of time before Gulag lefties "fix" that and leave the whole city at the mercy of heavily armed desperados.

A court challenge to this insanity is already in the works, and, depending on whom you ask, it has a good chance of succeeding. For starters, the NRA shoves a monkeywrench, or two, into the Gulag's 'disarm the law abiding civilians' machinery:

'...Prop. H, the lawsuit also claimed, is so loosely drafted that it would require police to leave their guns at the station, force museums to give up their gun collections and interfere with television productions and even the performances of operas like "Tosca" and "Carmen.''...'

'...[the lawsuit cites] California law, which authorizes police agencies to issue handgun permits, implicitly forbids "local attempts to ban the possession of handguns by law-abiding, responsible adults.''...'

'...Plaintiffs in the lawsuit -- filed in the first district state Court of Appeal in San Francisco -- also include California Association of Firearm Retailers, two other organizations and seven individual gun owners. They argue that the new handgun ban is virtually identical to a 1982 ordinance that was struck down by the appeal court on the grounds that it conflicted with state law.

The court's statement in 1982 -- that "the Legislature intended to occupy the field of residential handgun possession to the exclusion of local governmental entities'' -- applies equally to Prop. H, according to the lawsuit...' (S. F. Chronicle)

The Gulag hacks who are determined to disarm law-abiding civilians to make it easier for the differently-law abiding to ply their trade insist that this law is different than the 1982 ordinance, since it only applies to Gulag denizens. Visitors are still allowed to pack their 'heat', so there. Gulag denizens better brace themselves for big time fun, because, if this new law passes legal muster, the desperados will be flocking to your city to take advantage of the easy pickings.

The Military Recruiter Ban
Garnering 60% of the votes cast, this gem is one of those feel good, non-binding, measures that whines "We don't want our Johnny to march anywhere, so keep your war mongering recruiters off our high school and college campuses".

'...The measure, dubbed "College Not Combat," opposes the presence of military recruiters at public high schools and colleges. However, it would not ban the armed forces from seeking enlistees at city campuses, since that would put schools at risk of losing federal funding. It encourages city officials and university administrators to exclude recruiters and create scholarships and training programs that would reduce the military's appeal to young adults...' (News Max)

If you think that this lefty goodie would launch at least one VRWC babbler into orbit, give yourself a cookie. None other than that legend in his own mind, Fox News Channel mainstay Bill O'Reilly, did the honors, by spewing this pointed prose on his cable news show:

" Hey, you know, if you want to ban military recruiting, fine, but I'm not going to give you another nickel of federal money. You know, if I'm the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium, and I say, 'Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds. Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead.'

"And if Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead."

O'Reilly's incendiary prose struck a nerve, several of them, especially with the recruiting ban's sponsor San Francisco Supervisor Chris Daly:

"When you have the privilege of being on the airwaves, there comes with that a certain amount of responsibility. If you want to disagree, fine, that's your right. But don't talk about blowing stuff up. There are people who live there and work there." (S. F. Chronicle)

Jeeze Louise, Chris, don't get your peacenik panties in an uproar over a legend in his own mind like Blithering Bill O'Reilly. You must be the only clown on the planet who doesn't get the big, O'Reilly, picture. Billy boy is a low rent district, cable news network nitwit with delusions of Edward R. Murrow grandeur. He says these things to make you pay attention to him and it worked like gang busters, because you took him seriously. Ignore him and he'll give up and find somebody else to annoy. Do I need to explain everything to you?

Mexifornia's Dark Future
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [11/09]

The Eggheads at a cabal called "National Center for Public Policy and Higher Education" peered into an allegedly "nonpartisan" crystal ball and decided that Mexifornia's future is going to suck. Any rational adult could make that prediction, and many already have. Just for 'fun', let's take a look at the "alarming" findings:

Mexifornia's per capita income will drop 11% by the year 2020.

Mexifornia's population was 71% whitey in 1980 but will be a meager 39% whitey by 2020.

Uneducated - undereducated - border jumping scumbag invaders will drag the no longer "Golden" State into the crapper.

Mexifornia must dig deep and pour mountains of money into its failing school system because Mexifornia's new masters - the chronically-needy border jumping scumbag horde - is egregiously ignorant.

Translation: The border jumping scumbag invasion put Mexifornia into the express lane on the highway to reeking cesspool hell. We need to give the Educrats all that hard earned money so the invaders who are destroying Mexifornia can squander it on asinine Educrap like whole language and the new math. This new dead presidents infusion will enable the California Teachers Association to fill the state's legislature and bureaucracies with the unrepentant Marxists who will coronate the CTA as unrivaled rulers of Mexifornia.

PIG has a better idea:

Kick the invaders off the government gravy train.

Tell the Colonistas to assimilate, or get their parasite butts the hell out of Mexifornia.

Tell the CTA to knock it the hell off, stop their relentless whining and do the goddamn job we hired them to do.

Round up Mexifornia's Marxist legicrats - Sheila Kuel, Jackie Goldberg, et al - and forcibly resettled them in North Korea.

The only other choice, given Mexifornia's inescapable decline into abject poverty-induced tyranny, is to get all the rational adults the hell out of there then militarize the Mexifornia border and shoot anybody who tries to escape.

Berkeley Veterans Day Debacle - Again
Source: Contra Costa Times [11/02]

The Berkeley Veterans Day debacle took an unexpected turn this week when the man who caused this fuss - Bill Mitchell, co-founder of Cindy Sheehan's Gold Star Families for Peace - decided that the Berkeley Veteran's Day observance wasn't going to be any fun at all. Billy boy withdrew from the Berkeley festivities and announced his plans to thrill the pinheads in Soviet Monica where the lefty scum is still free to spit in the eye of our men and women in uniform by turning Veteran's Day into an anti-war rally.

With Billy boy headed for the People's Republic of Santa Monica, the local chapter of the Disabled American Veterans agreed to join the festivities after all. Is this the final chapter of this classically-Berkeley soap opera? Maybe, but don't bet your life savings on it.

---

Berkeley Veteran's Day Antics - Update
Source: Contra Costa Times [10/27]

Berkeley Mayor Tom Bates stepped into the Veterans Day commemoration mess [See "Berkeley's Veterans Day Fiasco" (10/18)] and hammered out a compromise, of sorts. As a result of his meetings with the relevant Berkeley players, Mayor Bates announced the following resolution to this classically-Berkeley food fight:

Bill Mitchell, co-founder of Cindy Sheehan's Gold Star Families for Peace, is out as the keynote speaker, but he still gets to spew some hate-Amerika prose.

Berkeley's local chapter of the Disabled American Veterans steadfastly refuses to participate in this peacenik farce.

The newly anointed Keynote Speaker is Swords into Ploughshares founder, Michael Blecker. His talk, allegedly, will focus on veterans' rights.

Country Joe McDonald decided that, at this stage in his career, any gig is cool, so he got over himself and agreed to play Master of Ceremonies.

DAV member, Dave Gan - a vet from the Normandy Invasion - will also speak, but he's doing so on his own behalf, not the DAV's.

If you're smelling a fat Berkeley rat, join the club. This pagan scribbler was profoundly unimpressed by Mayor Bates' pledge to "keep Bill Mitchell in line" and prevent him from turning this commemoration into a hate Amerika festival. Amerika's veterans deserve better from Berkeley, a city whose antics are enabled, in large part, by the sacrifices Amerika's men and women in uniform made for our liberty.

Mexifornia Law And Disorder Tidbits
Source: PIG News Wire [10/26]

White Males Need Not Apply
The City of Angels' oft maligned police department is shocked, dismayed and disheartened that the new officers they recruited during the 2004-2005 fiscal year weren't properly diverse. Diversity dipsticks in the department whine that there weren't enough females and blacks added to the force to satisfy the department's race/gender quotas. Adding to this improperly diverse angst is the thrilling fact that Melanin-Enriched recruits fell from 9.3% to 7.9% while female recruits declined from 25.7% to 23.4% when compared to their 2003-2004 levels.

Apparently, the LAPD's racial bean counters don't give a damn if the cops they deploy to protect the city's denizens are up to the task, as long as the badge packers are the desired color (anything but white) and gender (not male). These diversity bonkers pinheads seem convinced that their hiring quotas will transform the City of Angels into a veritable peace garden from the San Fernando Valley to Long Beach and everywhere in between. But, to achieve this Korrectnik Eden, the city must field a police force that matches - to 10 decimal points - the latest census data. This quota-driven, affirmative action pipedream is destined to make the city much more dangerous than it already is, but it's City of Angels' civilians who will pay the ultimate price.

San Bernardino County's Get Out of Jail Free Program
If you're a thief, a burglar or a drug dealer and want to ply your differently-legal trade without the dreaded specter of the county graybar hanging over your head, San Bernardino County (Mexifornia) is made to order. Due to severe overcrowding in the county graybar, Sheriff Gary Penrod ordered his minions to stop booking thieves, burglars and low grade (any quantity up to 24 pounds qualifies you for this new program) drug dealers into the county lockup. If you're busted for one of these crimes, you get kicked loose, as long as you promise to show up for your court date.

'...As part of the new policy, county jails will no longer accept most arrestees booked solely on misdemeanor charges. The jails also will turn away all suspects arrested on nonviolent felony charges as long as their bail is less than $500,000...' (San Bernardino Sun)

If you don't feel like standing in line to pillage the federal coffers for your cut of the hurricane handouts that FEMA's bureaucrats are pissing away, San Bernardino County is the next best thing. On your mark, get set, steal, desperado Sparky.

Petty Mexifornia Tyrants
Source: Orange County Register [10/19]

When neighbors complained about the noise caused by a 13-year-old lad's skateboard exploits in his own backyard, Fullerton (Mexifornia) sent code enforcement officers to shut down the ramp. Two months after that ignoble day, the city's Planning Commission admitted that the ramp is street legal since it's a "residential recreational facility", so they tossed this hot political potato to the City Council.

Operating under the City Council's instructions, city dweebs have measured the skateboard ramp and the area around it, trying to find some way to legally black flag the lad's "residential recreational facility". One ramp-banning excuse cites the amount of free space around the 672 square foot ramp. Suitably alarmed that a portion of the ramp exceeds 30 inches, other city hacks hatched a scheme that would declare the ramp a "commercial structure". A "commercial structure" designation would force the family to go through the relevant bureaucratic hoops to get a permit.

Apparently, the hiring criteria for Fullerton's City Council requires the ability "to stick your nose where it doesn't belong" and "a willingness to make a mountain out of a backyard skateboard ramp molehill". These petty Nanny State tyrants need to get a damn clue and learn to let sovereign individuals live their lives without this bovine excrement. Don't make us send Spike the Wonder Tyke to set you straight, Fullerton punks. You so don't want to go there.

Berkeley's Veterans Day Fiasco
Source: Contra Costa Times [10/18]

The wheels came off Berkeley's (Mexifornia) Veterans Day plans when chairman of this event, a venerable warbler named Country Joe McDonald, decided to have a noted peace punk to be the keynote speaker. The peace punk's name is Bill Mitchell and he's co-founder of Cindy Sheehan's Gold Star Families for Peace. To add that classic Berkeley flair, Joe also planned to have Annie and the Vets sing their anti-war songs. Needless to say, the bovine excrement hit the proverbial fan in record time.

Proving that, improbable as it seems, there are a few rational adults in high, Berkeley places, Linda Perry, an aide to City Council member Laurie Capitelli opined:

"If you want to have an anti-war rally, count me in. But not on Veterans Day. It's neither the time nor the place." (Contra Costa Times)

Edwin Harper, a member of the local Disabled American Veterans Chapter, found himself agreeing with Ms. Capitelli:

"They have the other 364 days and 23 hours to make their political point. "This one hour should be reserved for honoring veterans, period." (Contra Costa Times)

Backed by other members of the committee, Joe McDonald spouted drivel about Berkeley being the birthplace of the free speech movement then, reluctantly, agreed to dump Annie and the Vets' songfest. That left peace punk Mitchell and therein lies the rub. This week, Joe pulled the plug on the event...picking up his Korrectnik toys and going home with this whine:

"The disagreement over the participation of Gold Star Families, with their anti-war reputation, in our 2005 ceremony has made it impossible to continue. Without consensus we have no program. The event is canceled." (Contra Costa Times)

Only this terminally lefty pest hole could turn a Veterans Day observance into a full blown adventure in Korrectness. I know what you're thinking Sparky and you're right. It's utterly irrational to expect linear intellectual activity in the reason-free Twilight Zone in which Berkeley resides. I'm so ashamed....[sigh].

Marin County's Mental Midgets
Source: PIG News Wire [10/11]

A property owner who took political hack hot air about renewable energy sources seriously decided to power a new olive oil processing plant she's building on her property with a 210 foot tall windmill. What could possibly be wrong with that? Everything, according to the pinheads on the Marin County (Mexifornia) planning commission who voted it down by a 6-to-1 margin.

Everyone at the meeting made approving noises about the renewable energy scheme, a concept they fervently supported...in the abstract. But, the usual suspects - especially the windmill-building property owner's neighbors - whined that this all too real renewable energy source was too damn big, would probably be too damn loud, and worst of all it's gonna exact a heavy toll on Tweety and all his avian pals. Too big? It's a whopper but, since it's not on the whiners' property, so damn what? Killing Tweety and his pals? That's the way the cookie crumbles. Too loud? A loud windmill? I way don't think so Tim, not that it's any of the whiners' business.

The final fun fact here is that the Marin County lefties already approved another windmill, but it's just a puny critter that measures a mere 80 feet. This just in! Hypocrisy is alive and kicking in Marin County, but property rights are on life support.

The Terminator's Legicrap Scorecard
Source: AP [10/07]

Vetoed
A bill giving drivers licenses to border jumping scumbags.

Two bills easing the requirement that cess-school students pass exit exams before they can graduate

Signed
A ban on steroid use by high school athletes.

A ban on selling violent video games to minors.

A bill requiring that smokes sold in Mexifornia go out when not being puffed.

A bill allowing local hacks to require that certain dog breeds be spayed or neutered.

This week, Mexifornia's action hero governor seems to be channeling his Nanny State side. PIG News hopes it's only a temporary condition, but we'll refrain from betting the proverbial agriculture endeavor on it.

This week, Mexifornia's action hero governor dispensed with some of the legicrap that landed on his desk with a resounding splat. For those keeping track, here is the Terminator's legicrap signing score card:

Gay Marriage Bill - Vetoed.

Minimum Wage Bill - Vetoed.

Emergency Contraception - Signed, allowing women to get the morning-after pill even when the pharmacist objects.

Alternative fuels - Signed this bovine excrement, forcing Mexifornia taxpayer dollars to fund a "plan to reduce dependence on foreign oil". You can bet the farm that the final plan won't include developing Mexifornia's proven off shore oil reserves.

Although PIG News is far from thrilled with this alternative fuels crap and has severe reservations about mandating emergency contraception, we're forced to remind, whomever, that when Arnold vetoes any bill, he's doing something Gray 'I'll Sign That Bill for $29.95' Davis never did. It's not much, but we'll take it.

Alameda's Environmental Whiz-A-Thon
Source: PIG News Wire [09/27]

Alameda County (Mexifornia), the place that put the "Left" in Left Coast, is ground zero in a pitched battle between two players in the environmental movement. The bone of environmental contention centers on the 5,400 energy producing windmills that infest Mexifornia's Altamont Pass. The Contra Costa Times reports that the Alameda County Supervisors are thisclose to black flagging the windmills, because they're a lethal hazzard to avian navigation. Under consideration is an edict that would force the wind power companies to refit the windmills, a project that could take 13 years and cost a hefty $500,000,000 in dead presidents.

Wind power companies are busy issuing dire warnings that shutting down the wind farms means using more - gasp - fossil fuels to provide power to the area. Unimpressed, wildlife groups point an accusing finger at the wind energy capitalists, citing the on-going slaughter inflicted on Tweety and his pals who keep doing headers into those lethal windmill blades:

'...Scientists say thousands of birds each year are killed by flying into the windmills that churn in the hills east of Livermore. These birds include between 881 and 1,300 protected raptors such as golden eagles, hawks, falcons and owls, according to a study released last year by the California Energy Commission...' (Contra Costa Times)

The wind energy capitalists remind anyone who will listen that they produce enough clean, renewable wind driven energy to operate 120,000 homes each year. Bird deaths, although regrettable, are the price of providing safe, clean energy, they insist. Will the bird killers prevail, or will the critter coddlers carry the day by forcing the Alameda County lefties to refuse the wind energy companies operating permit renewal? Stay tuned PIGsters, because this one looks nasty.

Afterthought:
The dirty little secret about 'alternative' energy sources - wind power being a prime example - is that, with rare exceptions, these boondoggles make most of their money from government largesse, rather than paying customers. In other words, this Northern Mexifornia wind energy cabal is playing on your dime, taxpayer Sparky, and the $500,000,000 they'll need to 'invest' for retrofitting is likely to come out of your pocket, by way of Capitol Hill.

Heckler's Veto Alive and Well In San Jose
Source: San Jose Mercury News (Mexifornia) [09/14]

"Political correctness is a predictable byproduct produced by intellectual lethargy. A vigorous, unrestrained intellectual exchange - trading ideas that are noble, profane, enlightened, deluded, affirming, offensive - is always the first casualty resulting from an unexercised intellect. It’s much easier for intellectual flat-liners to outlaw entire areas of well-reasoned discourse than it is to re-animate those flabby, intellectual muscles." (Stealth Wisdom)

Granting the Border Jumper coddlers what rational adults call a "hecklers' veto", a jello spined, Mexifornia wench named Marcela Davison Aviles (executive director of San Jose's Mexican Heritage Plaza) caved in to threats of violence from the usual Colonista suspects by cancelling a forum about our egregiously unprotected borders. Vowing to stage a "rally and vigil" - Colonista code for a rock and bottle throwing riot - Border Jumper coddlers were especially outraged that the public forum would take place on Mexican Independence Day.

Wilting under the threats of violence, Marcela black flagged the public forum, then relented, sort of, after rational adults started pummeling her over her gutless antics. When the rational adult heat reached critical mass, she and the public forum's sponsor - the Commonwealth Club of California - decided to reschedule the forum, for some unspecified date in the future, without Minuteman founder Chris Simcox. Furthermore, jello spine Aviles wants to let the Colonista asshats participate so they can silence any rational "protect or damn borders, now" adults through intimidation and a noisy filibuster.

This Colonista coddling wench needs wake the hell up and smell the free speech coffee, stat!

Mexifornia Legicrats Pass Gay Marriage Bill
Source: Washington Time [09/07]

During the final hectic days of the legislative session, Golden State lefties thrilled the differently-sexual by narrowly passing a law that makes gay marriage okey dokey. Although this law seems a slam dunk for a Terminator veto, it does have newsworthy elements. For starters, it appears to violate the spirit, if not the letter, of a successful 2000 voter initiative, Prop 22, that prevented the no longer 'Golden' State from recognizing same sex marriages perpetrated in other states or countries. Some backers of the new gay marriage bill opine that Prop 22 didn't actually outlaw gay marriage, it only prevented the state from recognizing such marriages that are performed outside the state. Big, big fun.

This left coast culture war skirmish has less to do with gay marriage than it does with the special election called by the state's action hero governor, and/or the Terminator's likely re-election bid in 2006. That said, it's not going away and the battle lines are shaping up for future, more important fights in the court and in the voting booth in 2006. Stay tuned, PIGsters, this left coast culture melee is heating up very damn fast.

A Taxing Decision
Source: Orange County Register (Mexifornia) [09/01]

The no longer 'Golden' State's Attorney General, Bill 'I Wanna Be Governor' Lockyer, wants to impose the state's distilled spirits taxes and regulations to flavored malt beverages like Smirnoff Ice. Citing a Mexifornia law that defines "drinks flavored with even a drop of fruit spirits or alcohol as "distilled spirits"...' (Register), Lockyer's scheme would Emerilize the taxes levied on these popular beverages and force eateries, convenience stores, etc. that serve these malt beverages to buy a state liquor license.

At least one rational adult, state Assemblyman Greg Aghazarian, thinks that Lockyer's newest stealth gubernatorial campaign ploy is a bad idea. That's why he authored a bill that would make state law match the more lenient federal law. In case they ask at the trial, here are the Cliff Notes on the federal law regarding malt beverages:

...[A] new federal law...says the drinks, which are mostly juices with only 6 percent alcohol are beer, period...' (Register)

If you're smelling another Nanny State run at Golden State taxpayer wallets, give yourself a cookie. One estimate puts the likely take from the new tax bite at a hefty $40,000,000 per year. Blinded by that anticipated largesse, Lockyer doesn't want to talk about the 36,000 restaurants, convenience stores and liquor stores that would be, instantly, disqualified from selling these malt beverages. The law of unintended consequences is poised to take a big bite out of Lockyer's $40 million dollar take. I'd like to think that a reality check of that magnitude would teach this scumbag the error of his ways, but I'm not that gullible.

File this epic under, "Lockyer does it again" in your Left Coast Nitwits archives.

Mexifornia High Court Heats Up Culture War
Source: World Net Daily [08/22]

In three separate cases, the Mexifornia Supreme Court ruled that lesbian couples who "participated in the planning and rearing of a child" have full parental rights, plus the requisite parental responsibilities. Here are the Cliff Notes on the three cases:

K.M v. E.G.
"A woman who supplies ova to be used to impregnate her lesbian partner, with the understanding that the resulting child will be raised in their joint home, cannot waive her responsibility to support that child," the majority opinion stated. "Nor can such a purported waiver effectively cause that woman to relinquish her parental rights." (WND)

Kristine H. v. Lisa R.
'...the court found that a stipulation signed by the natural mother conferred a legal right to her lesbian partner to exercise the role of a parent over the child...' (WND)

In Elisa B. v. Superior Court
'...the court held that a lesbian who had agreed to raise the children born to her partner, but then split up with her partner, was required to pay child support for the children as a parent...' (WND)

Family values warriors inside and outside the longer 'Golden' State cite these rulings as exhibits 1, 2 and 3 to justify the need for the defense of marriage initiatives that are, inexorably making their way onto the Mexifornia ballot. The family values cabal lost this battle, but the war still hangs in the balance. Stay tuned, PIGsters, the fun is just getting started.

Home Grown, Melanin-Enriched Islamikazes?
Source: L.A. Daily News [08/20]

This week, the proper authorities bagged two Melanin-Enriched graybar graduates for plotting a half-ass terrorist attack on some Southern Mexifornia Torah True Believer and National Guard sites. The alleged breaking news here is the thrilling discovery that Melanin-Enriched graybar denizens are being, systematically, indoctrinated with radical, "kill the infidel pigs" Islam. The real breaking news is that it took the proper authorities a long damn time to wake up and smell the Melanin-Enriched Islamikaze Coffee.

'...Counterintelligence officials said California prisons are particularly troublesome because of their large and diverse populations. On Monday, two FBI agents from Washington, D.C., met with California prison wardens and warned about what they described as a growing national threat of Muslim extremism, said state prison and Homeland Security officials. In California, inmates adhering to a radical brand of Islam are in every prison, officials said...' (Daily News)

The proper authorities might be shocked and dismayed over this turn of events, but PIG News isn't the least bit startled. When you take a group of Melanin-Enriched individuals who are already carrying a Mount Everest size victimhood chip on their shoulders, put them in the slammer, then given them a nifty new way to pay back whitey - via a Melanin-Enriched Jihad - it's a no shit recipe for disaster.

Has the Melanin-Enriched Islamikaze movement reached critical mass? Not yet, but it will if some-damn-body doesn't wake the hell up.

Mexifornia News Nuggets
Source: PIG News Wire [08/19]

Sacramento
Sacramento Superior Court Judge Ronald Cadei bitch-slapped Mexifornia Attorney General Lockyer for the ballot prose he affixed to a proposed amendment to the state constitution that would ban GLAAD BAAG marriage. Black flagging the attorney general's prose, the judge ordered him to refine his prose to make it clear to voters which rights the proposed amendment would nuke.

If you need some background on this epic, refer to "Culture War Heats Up in Mexifornia" [07/26] in the Culture War section of PIG News.

Santa Cruz/Huntington Beach
The thirteen year old war over which Mexifornia city is entitled to call itself "Surf City U.S.A." entered a new stage this week when a Mexifornia legicrat ran a bill up the legicrap flagpole that would give the honor to Santa Cruz instead of Huntington Beach. For those who obsess on such trivia - and we both know who you are - here are each city's qualifications.

Huntington Beach:

1) The city filed 9 trademark applications for "Surf City U.S.A." with the U.S. Patents and Trademarks office.
2) The city's tourism punks 'rolled out a new logo plus a Surf City merchandise line'.
3) Unlike Santa Cruz, Huntington Beach has been using the Surf City U.S.A. moniker, unofficially, for years.
4) Huntington Beach has a staunch defender in the Mexifornia legislature, State Senator John Cambell.

Santa Cruz:

1) A Santa Cruz denizen named Jack O'Neill invented the wetsuit.
2) Surfing in Mexifornia started in the Santa Cruz area in 1885 when a trio of Hawaiian surfers showed up to ride the waves.
3) Santa Cruz has "11 world-class surf breaks".
4) Santa Cruz has a Mexifornia legicrat, State Senator Joe Simitian willing to do the city's dirty work in the state legislature.

Making this tug of war between these two cities memorable, there's this stop the presses quote from the Huntington Beach Conference and Visitors' Bureau's president and CEO, Dough Traub:

"It seems Santa Cruz has perfected whining to an art form. They've never used the trademark name to promote themselves, but now (that) we've decided to do something with it, they obviously want a piece of the action."

He's right, of course, because Santa Cruz is one of Mexifornia's most notorious outposts of rampant leftism.

Berkeley
U.C. Berkeley's new whiner cabal, a shyster infested stinker named the Chief Justice Earl Warren Institute for Race, Ethnicity and Diversity, is marshaling it's Marxist Egghead forces to overturn the successful 1996 ballot initiative - Prop 209 - that nuked affirmative action in Mexifornia Ivory Towers. The Berkeley pinheads in this new whiner cabal are convinced that they can find a way to thwart the will of Mexifornia voters, 55% of whom voted to add the affirmative action ban to the state constitution.

Will they succeed? That depends on whom you ask. The lefties cite a 2003 decision by the U.S. Supreme Court that gave the University of Michigan an amber light on racial bean counting in certain enrollments. The rational adults at the Pacific Legal Foundation are confident that they can defend the affirmative action ban, again, the way they have during prior legal challenges.

File this under "by hook or by crook" in the Beserkely section of your PIG News Archives.

Mayor Villaraigosa Goes Girlie
Source: Los Angeles Daily News [08/17]

During the hotly contested election for Hell-A mayor, Antonio made a bold, badly needed suggestion when he stated that the Hell-A mayor should be given control over the on-going educrap disaster named the Los Angeles Unified School District. Among other things, Antonio wanted the power to appoint new members to the school board, subject to City Council approval. As ideas go, this one is long overdue, given the sorry shape L.A. Unified is in.

Aware that L.A. Unified overlaps other Hell-A Basin cities in addition to Hell-A, a Mexifornia legicrat, state Senator Gloria Romero, served up a bill in the Mexifornia legislature that would let Antonio fulfill his campaign pledge. All she needs to put it over the top is Mayor Villaraigosa's endorsement. There's just one pesky problem...Antonio went girlie after the election and is back-peddling on his bold educrap notion. The smart money opines that Antonio hasn't got the nads to take on the mega powerful California teachers union. That explains, to PIG's satisfaction, why Antonio isn't returning Senator Romero's calls.

Terminally girlie Antonio appointed a commission to study the issue so he can "build a consensus of support from teachers, parents and state legicrats". Translation: terminally ambitious Antonio wants no part of any political hot potato, unless it's a virtual slam dunk. If a fix ain't easy, and isn't a virtual no lose situation, Girlie Man Antonio wants no part of it. For his gutless political antics, Hell-A mayor, Antonio Villaraigosa earn first prize in PIG's Girlie Man of the Week sweepstakes.

Peabrain Cancels, Then Restores An Immigration Forum
Source: North County Times (Mexifornia) [08/10]

Determined to put the border jumping scumbag disaster on the front political burner, Mexifornia State Senator Bill Morrow booked the Carlsbad public meeting hall on Carlsbad High School's campus, for an August 11 town meeting titled "The Illegal Immigration Crisis". He lined up such notables as PIG hero emeritus, Congressman Tom Tancredo, Minuteman founder Jim Gilchrist, former San Diego mayor and talk show stellar, Roger Hedgecock, plus assorted other experts. It all went swimmingly, until August 5 - less than a week before the meeting - when Carlsbad Unified's Superintendent, John Roach, cancelled the town hall meeting:

'...Roach cited a school board policy that allows the superintendent to deny use "if an event poses an unreasonable risk of damage to the facility, equipment, or furnishings, and that might jeopardize the security, health, and well-being of an audience or of the community. Based on my understanding of the recent events in Garden Grove, Baldwin Park, and Campo, it is my belief that the event you had planned poses exactly such a risk," Roach said Thursday, reading from the letter he had faxed to Morrow's office. "These events seem to have a tendency of gathering busloads of supporters and opposition who yell at each other and get violent. That's not an appropriate use of the facility."...' (North Coast Times)

Undeterred, state Senator Morrow, nailed Girlie Man Roach with a lawsuit:

'...Morrow said a state appeals court ruled in 1998 that canceling an event because of threats of violence from opponents of the event amounted to an unconstitutional prior restraint on free speech called a "heckler's veto."...' (Times)

Despite public chest pounding from the usual border jumping scumbag coddling suspects, Superintendent Roach went Girlie again late Tuesday evening (August 9), when his shysters told him he was headed for a public hammering in court the next morning. That fast, Girlie Man Roach, belatedly, remembered a certain venerable American goodie called the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution: "I really believe the First Amendment issues regarding free speech outweighed the concerns I had regarding crowd behavior".

The bad news for Superintendent Roach is that he's a gutless hack. The good news is that his egregious lack of intestinal fortitude earned him PIG's legendary Girlie Man of the Week award.

Gulag Angst
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [08/09]

Gulag 'activists' have the commie pinko panties in a wad because Clear Channel station KMEL-FM has the U.S. Navy as the sponsor of the station's annual Summer Jam concert. Ignoring the inconvenient fact that the Navy has sponsored the Summer Jam for 10 of its 19 years, these Bay Area lefties are especially annoyed because - according to them - those war mongers in Clear Channel are "using hop-hop to promote the military to young people of color" (Chronicle).

Although some of these Ethnocrat whiners admit that "For many people of color in these communities (of color), the military is an escape from the violence they see in their neighborhoods" (Chronicle), they still want the Navy to butt out. We can't have Uncle Sam offering the properly-hyphenated a chance to escape the hood, serve their country then use the experience to better themselves. That would spoil everything, some-damn-how. If anyone needs to butt the hell out it's these peacenik, panty-wearing pinko peabrains.

Mexifornia's Missing Rides
Source: PIG News Wire [08/09]

The fact that Mexifornia used its stolen tax dollars to buy 70,000 vehicles is bad enough, but what's beyond thrilling is the fun fact that 30,000 of them are, uh, missing. Are we talking about grand theft auto on a world class scale or garden variety Nanny State ineptitude? The smart money is backing garden variety Nanny State ineptitude perpetrated on an impressive, but not record setting, scale. For example, one state agency laid out a cool $4,000,000 on rides, but -oops - the L.A. Daily News reports that this agency doesn't "have any record of where it bought them".

This breaking '30,000 of our rides are missing' news is brought to us thanks to a bold new innovation perpetrated by Mexifornia's action hero governor: "an aggressive new asset-management push" (Daily News). So far, his bean counters are "pretty sure" that the state plunked down a nifty $33,600,000 for "automobile acquisitions" during 2004. Now, if they could just find out what happened to those elusive 30,000 rides, life wouldn't be quite so sucky.

If you're tooling around in a Mexifornia owned ride, practice some good citizenship and phone the office. You really don't want the Terminator tracking you down, do you government ride Sparky?

Story Update
Source: Sacramento Bee [08/03]

Wilting under the heat from countless news reports, boom box tirades, and scorching editorials, the relevant justice system officials decided to forego trying 11-year old rock thrower, Maribel Cuevas, for felony assault ["Overkill In Fresno", PIG News 07/16/2005]. Instead, Maribel has been ordered to 'attend a mediation program with her young victim' (Bee). If you're wondering what in blue blazes these dipsticks mean by a mediation program, join the club.

What's to mediate? Some boys, including the alleged "victim" kept pelting Maribel with water balloons and refused to stop, when she, repeatedly, asked them. That's when Maribel picked up a rock and chucked it at them, nailing her "victim" in the head. He survived, virtually unscathed, and she apologized. In a rational world that should end the matter. It sounds to this pagan scribbler like the kids had this all sorted out nicely, until the cops went non-clinically bonkers and started spouting drivel about nailing Maribel for felony assault.

File this under "Get over it, law and order punk Sparky" in your PIG News archives.

Mexifornia's Bovine Brain-Fart
Source: Sacramento Bee [08/03]

The Smog Nazis infesting the San Joaquin Valley Unified Air Control District just issued a report that identifies an air pollution source more potent that the district's fossil fuel burning conveyances. With suitable fanfare, these Smog Nazi intellectual flatliners painted an "Air Polluting Public Enemy Number One" bull's-eye on the district's bovines. That's right, PIGsters, cows are now deemed the top polluters in the San Joaquin Valley. Film at eleven!

'...in a report released Monday, [the Smog Nazis] determined that a cow annually emits 19.3 pounds of volatile organic compounds, the gases that contribute to smog. That is 50 percent more than currently thought, the report said. At that new rate, dairies in the San Joaquin Valley produce more than 50 tons of VOCs a day, exceeding the amount released by cars and light trucks in the region by nearly 20 tons a day, district officials said...' (Bee)

These San Joaquin Smog Nazis indulged in the usual chest pounding, pontificating and bloviating when they warned that strict regulations on local dairy farms are forthcoming. You don't need Nostradamus to predict that the Draconian regulations will drive dairy farmers out of business and result in milk price increases that will make this popular food staple intolerably expensive. Hang onto your wallet, Mexifornia milk drinkers, because this Smog Nazi bovine excrement - the irony of "bovine excrement" in this context is duly noted, by the way - is destined to get terminally thrilling.

---

A Mexifornia Stunner
Source: Sacramento Bee [07/28]

This week, Mexifornia's Supreme Court ruled that state employees can't be given permanent jobs and/or promotions based, exclusively, on their seniority. Faced with this inexplicable, unscheduled, outburst of linear intellectual activity at Mexifornia's highest court, this pagan scribbler is forced to ask the burning question: Did hell freeze over while I wasn't looking? Why didn't the Old Ka-Boomists issue a press release? I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you.

Mexifornia News Nuggets
Source: PIG News Wire [07/27]

Eminent Domain
This week, Bill Lockyer, the not so "Golden" state's Attorney General - and perpetual gubernatorial candidate - sided with some property owners who strayed into Kern County's eminent domain victim bull's-eye. Mr. Lockyer insists that Kern County development dweebs crossed the line when they employed eminent domain to declare 15,000 acres of vacant desert land "blighted" and took steps to force the land's rightful owners to sell their property.

'...California City, located in southeastern Kern County near Edwards Air Force Base, used the threat of eminent domain to get most of the owners of the desert land to sell so the property could be turned over to Hyundai Motor America for construction of a 4,340-acre test track facility...' (San Francisco Chronicle)

Although Lockyer's motives are suspect - and then some - he gives the land owners a powerful ally in the fight to save their land from Kern County's eminent domain bonkers bureaucrats.

More Terminator Korrectness
Mexifornia's action hero governor stayed in Korrectnik mode this week, when he signed some legicrap that creates what the Marxist legicrats call "The Car Buyer's Bill of Rights". Its provisions, like most Nanny State intrusions into the marketplace, sound harmless enough:

The new law gives car buyers two days to return a new car valued at less than $40,000 and get a full refund. Dealers are allowed to charge a fee for this 'right', but the fee can't exceed $250.00.

The new law sets specific provisions for those used cars which are sold as "certified".

The new law requires the dealer to tell the car buyer the buyer's credit rating, the base price for the new ride, and the price for the new ride after all those extra 'value added' fees are tacked on by the dealer.

Like all artificial "rights" bestowed by the Nanny State, this car buyer rights crap-o-la gives artificial 'rights' to some individuals by infringing on the rights of others. In this instnace, the car buyer's bill of rights infringes on the right of a business owner - a car dealer in this instance - to determine how he, she, heshe or it will conduct their own business. Whenever you hear some political hack extolling a new [Fill in the blank] Bill of Rights, the first question that comes to a rational adult's mind is "at whose expense". The down and dirty here is that whenever the Nanny State confers a new right on someone, it's infringing on the inalienable liberty of somebody else.

As a capitalist, the Terminator should know better than get suckered by something as noxious as "The Car Buyers Bill of Rights". He should, but political expediency won out over principle.

"Each individual is born with a full complement of rights. The government can't give you new rights, it can only take the ones you already have." (PIG Doctrine)

Mayor for a Day, Almost
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [07/19]

San Diego's interim mayor, Michael Zucchet, will never forget his first - and last - day in office. How many people do you know who get their city's top job, get convicted of conspiracy, extortion and fraud, then dumped from office before lunch time? For those who obsess on such things, Mayor Zucchet and another member of the city council were nailed for taking illegal campaign contributions from a strip club owner who wanted these council punks to repeal the "no touching" rule imposed on San Diego's nude clubs. Corrupt city officials! I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you.

Mayor Zucchet's short tenure led San Diego to an ignoble political feat that won't be duplicated any time soon: three different mayors in a four day span. With only six hacks left on the city council, the usual suspects worry that the city could run out of elected officials to run through the mayoral revolving door. Rumors that the city plans to change the city limits signs to "Welcome to San Diego, Would you like to be our mayor?" are only a slight exaggeration.

Overkill in Fresno
Source: AP (07/16)

Last April, while playing with her 6 year old brother and some other tykes, 11-year-old Maribel Cuevas blundered into Fresno's zero tolerance bull's-eye. Everything was going swimmingly for our young heroine until some local lads started bombarding her with water balloons. Trying to be a good sport, Maribel endured the initial fusillade stoically, but, when the boys persisted she told them to stop. After the water balloon assault continued unabated, Maribel decided to fight back.

Since she didn't have any water balloons, she picked up the only weapon within easy reach and let fly, nailing one of the assailants, 9-year old Elijah Vang, in the noodle with a rock. After seeking adult assistance, a worried Maribel raced to Elijah's home to apologize while one of her playmates' Aunt took Elijah to the hospital emergency room. Since Elijah's wound was minor, the hospital staff administered some TLC, a couple stitches and prescribed an immediate return trip home.

If the matter ended there, this epic wouldn't be newsworthy, but this is where Fresno's justice system officials went into overkill overload:

'...Maribel says she didn't mean to hurt the boy - who admitted to officers that he started the fight and was quickly released from the hospital after getting his head stitched up. But police insist she's a criminal - she's being prosecuted on a felony charge of assault with a deadly weapon. "We responded. We determined a felony assault had taken place and the officers took the actions that were necessary," said Fresno Police Sgt. Anthony Martinez...' (AP)

Fresno's badge packing morons, handcuffed the terrified girl and carted her off for a five day sojourn in juvenile hall. Next, they imposed a 30-day home arrest stretch during which Fresno's 11-year-old public enemy number one had to wear a GPS tracker. If that's not enough to rot your socks, Fresno's District Attorney is determined to prosecute Maribel for felony assault. Felony assault? Are these Fresno asshats insane or are they going for the stupidity on steroids brass ring? No justice...no peace! Free Maribel...Free Maribel...Free Maribel.

A Mexifornia Mecca Maniac Panty Twister
Source: Fox News [07/13]

During a tour of Mexifornia's National Guard headquarters, some peaceniks and CAIR (Council on American Islamic Relations) punks were shocked, scandalized and dismayed over some fliers posted on the headquarters bulletin board. And what, you ask, put their panties in a bunch? As usual, PIG is all over it:

One flier borrowed a page from General John J. Pershing who pioneered a thrilling concept to quell rampaging Mecca Maniacs: shooting Islamic terrorists with bullets dipped in pig's blood to deny the room temperature Mecca Maniac entry into his notion of 'heaven'.

'...A second flier showed the wings and tail of a bomber forming a peace sign with the slogan, "Peace the old fashioned way."

Also posted was a cartoon from a Web site showing a Red Crescent (search) ambulance stuffed with weapons and a caricature that looks like the late Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat unloading the weapons...' (Fox News)

PIG thinks the lefty whiners who have their knickers in a knot over the pig's blood flier need to take a chill pill and shut the hell up. If a few fun-filled fliers is enough to ruin life as they know it, there's no hope for them. Every damn one of them needs to read the PIG Doctrine, right damn now:

"The exaggerated sensitivities of others are not my responsibility, nor do their hurt feelings empower them to abolish my right to free speech." (PIG Doctrine)

Afterthought
I know what you're wondering, PIGsters: Whose bright idea was it to invite these whining, peacenik terrorist coddlers to tour California Air National Guard headquarters anyway? The visit was perpetrated by a Marxist Mexifornia state senator who "questioned whether a new Guard unit had been formed to spy on U.S. citizens" (Fox) at recent anti-war rally. Whatever the peace punks went there to find, it probably wasn't a flier explaining the thrilling implications of bullets dipped in pig's blood. I'm trying to 'feel their' pain, but it's not easy when you're laughing like a mental patient.

Why Mexifornia Will Always Be A Blue State
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [07/07]

Mexifornia's hot button redistricting initiative, Prop 77, is on life support because the boneheads who perpetrated it can't get their heads out of their butts. Demonstrating one inescapable reason why the VRWC won't restore political sanity in Mexifornia, the initiative's sponsors shot themselves in the foot with a mind-boggling adventure in intellectual flatlining:

'...A mistake involving an initiative that would change the way California draws its lines for politicians' districts could force the high- profile measure off November's special election ballot. The problem arose when backers of the reapportionment initiative, now listed for the special election ballot as Proposition 77, turned in one version of the proposed measure to the state attorney general's office for review but circulated an earlier, slightly different version when collecting the signatures needed to qualify the initiative for the ballot...' (Chronicle)

The moment Prop 77's backers stumbled over their error, they notified Mexifornia Secretary of State Bruce McPherson (Donkey Clan). Almost immediately, Mr. McPherson passed the matter along to Mexifornia Attorney General Bill Lockyer - a Donkey Clan hack who dreams of Gubernatorial glory. In a heartbeat, Lockyer filed a suit in the state's courts to have the ballot initiative yanked off the November ballot. You don't need Nostradamus to predict that Lockyer will be a Donkey Clan hero of he can torpedo a Donkey Clan-unfriendly initiative like Prop 77.

Can't these Mexifornia right wingers get anything right?

Mexifornia's Marxist Border Jumper Coddlers
Source: Sacramento Bee [07/06]

Citing the $9 to $10 billion per year that taxpayers are forced to squander on the border jumping scumbag horde infesting the no longer 'Golden' State, two Elephant Clan Assemblymen authored proposed amendments to the Mexifornia Constitution. If passed - a longshot, given the Marxist clowns who rule Mexifornia - the amendments would cut the taxpayer umbilical that nurtures the invaders and establish a state border patrol cabal. You didn't need Nostradamus to predict that neither would fly with Mexifornia's Colonista coddlers.

'...The Judiciary Committee voted 4-2 Tuesday to turn down an amendment by Assemblyman Mark Wyland, R-Del Mar, that would prevent illegal immigrants from receiving any health care or social services not required by federal law. The committee also voted 5-2 to reject an amendment by Assemblyman Ray Haynes, R-Murrieta, that would create a state border police force to supplement federal efforts to enforce immigration laws, including the ban on hiring illegal immigrants...' (AP)

The Elephant Clan legicrats who sponsored these amendments to Mexifornia's constitution are making noises about putting one or both measures on the ballot, where the state's rational adults can vote to ram them down the throats of the Marxist traitors who run the state's legislature. PIG wishes them well and promises to do what it can to promote their efforts to rescue the no longer Golden State from enemy hands and return it to Amerika. Admittedly, it's an uphill fight, but PIG News salutes Assemblymen Ray Haynes and Mark Wyland for fighting the good fight against overwhelming odds.

Gulag Games
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [07/02]

The brave new world envisioned by the Gulag Smoke Nazis isn't quite as new, or as brave, as the dipsticks who passed the city's new ban on smoking in public parks envisioned. According to this fishwrap, on the first day of the smoking ban, smokers were out in force, puffing away in defiance of the smoking ban. If you take the time to parse the fishwrap spew, you learn that nobody in the city parks department gives a flaming damn about the new smoking ban. That's why no cops were assigned to smoker busting duty and no folding green has been spent for the 1,500 no smoking signs mandated by the smoking ban.

For comic relief, we offer up this whine from the Smoke Nazi who wrote "the most comprehensive outdoor smoking ban in the United States" (Chronicle):

"Our job is to write the law. We're not supposed to enforce it. This is frustrating. When I (heard) that nothing is being done, I thought 'Wow, that's outrageous.' This is the law of the land.'' (Supervisor Michela Alioto-Pier)

Since this Smoke Nazi wench is the one with her panties in a wad over smoking, maybe the best solution involves deputizing her and telling her to go round up all those renegade smokers. Since it's her obsession, her smoking ban, let her do the dirty work. If that's too much bother for her, then she needs to shut the hell up and let the cops solve real crimes...arrest real criminals.

---

Mexifornia's Government-Run Self Esteem Systems
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [06/25]

All 516 San Ysidro (Mexifornia) eighth graders will participate in graduation ceremony this year, despite the fact that 143 of them didn't earn the privilege. According to Principal Carolina Flores, it's not their fault that these failing students didn't meet the school's graduation requirements. It's the school's fault, so it's unfair to damage their self esteem by holding them back. Besides, why should San Ysidro Middle School keep them around, when it's much easier to export these problem students to San Ysidro High?

If you think this Southern Mexifornia cess-school is the exception, get ready for a rude awakening:

San Diego: Although the school district "ended" social promotions in the late 1990's, in 2003, only 40 of the district's 10,253 eighth graders were held back.

Oceanside: All the eighth graders get to graduate, but the ones who didn't cut the mustard are sent to Clar Burgener Academy "A ninth grade catchup campus" (San Diego Union-Tribune)

Sweetwater: Only qualified eighth graders participate in their middle school's graduation ceremony, but all eighth graders get shipped out to the Sweetwater's high schools, regardless of the academic disqualifications.

The consensus among Southern Mexifornia Educrats is that if the students aren't at grade level by the eighth grade, holding them back is a complete waste of time. Throwing up their hands when faced with their own Educrap ineptitude, these Educrats pass the buck and dump their failures into the lap of their high school counterparts. Doing this, undoubtedly, solves their immediate problem, but it's not doing a damn thing for their government cess-schooled victims. Social promotions are alive and well in Mexifornia cess-schools. Educrats didn't end this pernicious practice, they just drove it underground.

Business As Usual
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [06/18]

Whenever you read an article that has Mexifornia's Marxist state legicrats making approving noises about a proposed redistricting scheme, you know that it's either a scam, or 'they' put something in the Sacramento drinking water...again. The first few words of a Sacramento Bee item - "a coalition of public interest groups" - set off pagan alarm bells and the rest of this fishwrap spew did little to dispel my overpowering "what are those Marxist weenies doing this time" reaction.

Spearheaded by a Hell-A based do-gooder cabal named "Center for Governmental Studies", these civic minded dweebs have a plan that will resolve all of Mexifornia's legicrap district boundary problems. Yeah, right, and if you believe that one, I have a couple Gulag bridges to sell you.

Instead of redrawing the boundaries in time for the 2006 election as the November Voter Initiative dictates, this bold new scheme would delay it until after the 2010 census.

A nine member commission of judges and "other citizens" would do the line drawing deed. Other than more members, this matches the Initiative in most of its particulars.

Unlike the voter Initiative, this bold new civic minded concept would not require voter approval for the new districts.

This sounds suspiciously like "business as usual" to this pagan scribbler. That contention is justified by the fact that Mexifornia Legicrats whose only interest is self preservation support this new notion. If you live in Mexifornia don't even think about bending over, because the Marxist asshats in your state legislature are ready, willing and able to 'give it to you' again.

Delusional In Mexifornia
Source: Seattle Post-Intelligencer [06/13]

Perpetually losers in the state's political derby, Mexifornia Elephant Clan hacks dare to dream that the special election decreed by Mexifornia's action hero governor could lead to an Elephant Clan resurrection in Mexifornia. The alleged political thinking at work involves the initiatives the Governor got onto the November 2005 ballot. Many of the ballot initiatives address core Elephant Clan issues like limiting the power wielded by the state's public employee unions, limiting spending, and various Educrap related gems. That's why the pachyderm punks dare to dream that their party will be propelled into statewide office during the next regularly scheduled election cycle:

'..."If we all come together, those initiatives will pass, and if those initiatives pass in November, we will have a lot of statewide officeholders the following November in the year 2006," said Republican state Sen. Abel Maldonado...' (Post-Intelligencer)

Can Mexifornia's nadless pachyderm punks make a comeback? Maybe, but if any of them thinks that blue state Mexifornia can be turned "red" in their lifetime, they need to increase the voltage on their shock treatments.

School Name Change Hits a Snag In Berkeley
Source: Berkeley Daily Planet [06/10]

After the tykes attending Berkeley's Jefferson Elementary voted to change the school's name to "Sequoia", everyone expected the Berkeley Unified's school board to rubber stamp the change in record time. I'm amazed to report that at least two of the five board members refused to support the name change and a third abstained since she had a personal, vested, interest in the name change.

Dissenting school board member Shirley Issel didn't pull her punches when she assailed the name change notion:

'...[After accusing the name change nitwits of] "holding hostage our educational institutions by emotional terrorism"[Ms. Issel continued, with] "I don't find your arguments compelling. I find them offensive. I pray to God that none of you are judged by the standards that you've used to judge this situation. Somehow you've located the source of your discomfort, and you have decided that by changing the name of the school you'll become more comfortable. I don't think that will happen."...' (Daily Planet)

The board is scheduled to revisit this name change notion in their next meeting, at which time the board members will formalize their views with a vote. When anything fun happens on this issue, PIG News will serve up all the yummy tidbits.

Stampeding Mexifornia Stupidity
Source: Sacramento Bee [06/04]

Mexifornia's Marxist legicrats pooped out not one, but two, bills that would stamp out crime by marking each bullet with a serial number. One version mandates that ammo manufacturers laser-cut a serial number into each bullet. The other version, mandates that the gun stamps an identification number on the shell casing each time it fires. Crime solving - these legicrats insist - is as easy as gathering up the spent shell casings, matching the numbers on them with a citizen via a database then making an arrest. Rational adults opine that it's not quite that simple:

Fun Fact 1: Why would a criminal buy serial numbered bullets or a gun that marks the casings in Mexifornia when it's easy to get untraceable guns and/or ammo elsewhere?

Fun Fact 2: Rifle ammo is exempted from this legicrap, which means that those handguns that can use rifle ammo are also exempted.

Fun Fact 3: A criminal could quite easily pick up spent shell casings at a shooting range, then spread them around at a crime scene to throw the proper authorities off the track.

Fun Fact 4: A criminal could pick up his spent shell casings, forcing the authorities to solve the crime the old fashioned way, through good police work.

Fun Fact 5: The only people likely to get nabbed for possessing 'illegal' ammo will be those law abiding citizens who were never a threat to public safety in the first place.

The Marxist legicrats promoting these bills refuse to pull their heads out of the butts and see the likely impact it will have on Mexifornia's sovereign individuals. Ammo manufacturers insist that the bill that forces them to pre-mark ammo with a unique serial number will force them to abandon the Mexifornia market entirely, since the added investment in machinery is a non-starter. Other rational adults caution that criminals don't obey the existing gun laws, so they won't obey this one either. PIG News smells a fetid Marxist legicrat scheme to make legal gun ownership such an expensive, bureaucratic nightmare that law-abiding citizens will simply give up their constitutionally guaranteed right to keep and bear arms.

Berkeley News Nuggets
Source: Berkeley Daily Planet [06/03]

New Name, Same Pathetic Educrap
All the votes are now tallied at Jefferson Elementary in Beserkeley (Mexifornia) and 57% of the 'school community' voted to change the name from "Jefferson" to "Sequoia". Let that be a lesson to all those slave-owning founding fathers like the school's former namesake, a notorious enemy of everything properly progressive peabrains believe in: Thomas Jefferson, our second president and author of the Declaration of Independence. The name change decision moves on the Berkeley Unified School District Board for final approval.

Turmoil at Berkeley's Lefty Radio Station
Pacifica Radio's Berkele- based boom box station, KPFA, is anything but 'peaceful' these days and there's no end in sight to all this big time fun. The merriment started 6 years ago after Pacifica Radio lit a fire under Beserkeley's lefty horde by announcing a scheme to "moderate" KPFA's lefty boom box fare. In a heartbeat, outraged listeners and other lefty scum took to the streets, then went shyster bonkers in their zeal to save the station from this dastardly Pacifica Radio plot.

Fast forward to the present and what looked like a 'victory' for the lefty horde, then, is tasting like defeat, now:

'...Activist listeners who fought the war to democratize Pacifica expected to get a stronger say over programming. But instead they say the staff has succeeded in stonewalling efforts to reform the station. "There seems to be some [staff] at KPFA that are very suspicious of democracy," said Stan Woods, a member of People’s Radio, a Pacifica faction that represents listener activists on KPFA's Local Station Board...' (Daily Planet)

Emerilizing the KPFA fun that much more is the thrilling fact that the unenlightened KPFA staff isn't one big happy family either. Last month got off to a rousing start at KPFA when a station engineer went chair throwing bonkers during a KPFA Program Council meeting. He went postal because a 'white old guard' host that the station dumped a decade ago might return. Two days after the chair throwing tantrum made life exciting at KPFA, the boom box outlet's General Manager, Roy Campanella II, called out the co-host of "Hard Knock Radio", Weyland Southon, during a high volume, expletive-enriched shouting match. Weyland got so traumatized by the incident that he ditched work for a week, for fear that the GM would kick his sorry, lefty butt.

At press time, the station turmoil continues, enhanced, to the max, by persistent rumors that General Manager Campanella might get the axe. If anything newsworthy happens at this lefty boom box blight, PIG News will dish up all the juicy tidbits.

---

Grand Jury Bitch-Slaps Gulag
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [05/28]

This week, a civil grand jury ruled that the Gulag's (San Francisco) Human Rights Commission continues to violate a state law enacted in 1996 - proposition 209 - that 'prohibits the use of race and gender preferences in awarding contracts' (Chronicle). Since the civil grand jury lacks the power to enforce and/or prosecute the city for its racial bean counting antics, Gulag officials aren't giving this official rebuke a second thought.

The Grand Jury Said:

"Many of the city's citizens might wish San Francisco to be an island, unregulated by the state and federal government. Such a wish does not conform to reality."

The Gulag's City Attorney replied:

"Contrary to what the civil grand jury had to say, it's our view that San Francisco has acted within the law, and we continue to act within the law."

Is the Gulag above the law? They seem to think so, and, unless Mexifornia's Marxist political hacks decide to enforce a law the voters imposed on them, the Gulag shall remain immune to the duly enacted laws the govern the rest of Mexifornia. PIG News thinks the Gulag would make a nifty spot to road test our nuclear weapons arsenal.

Educrap Angst In Santa Monica
Source: Santa Monica Mirror [05/26]

Shocked and dismayed over the recent inter-racial punchout at Santa Monica High, the Educrats on the Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District's Board of Educrap are frantically seeking ways to restore the proper 'community spirit' throughout the district. The following community spirit restoring Educrap items reached critical mass at the Board of Educrap's latest, post-punchout meeting:

The board endorsed a Marxist GLAAD BAAG legicrat's - State Senator Sheila Kuehl - bill 660. If enacted this bill "would require (with certain exceptions) the principal of a school to take immediate steps to seek the consent of the parent or guardian of an elementary school pupil prior to making the pupil available to a peace officer for questioning". (Mirror)

One board member wants signs posted throughout the schools that will warn the cess-school inmates about the zero tolerance consequence that ensue if they bring weapons on campus. These signs would also advise inmates that they can demand a parent or guardian's presence during police interrogation.

The board discussed the relevant details of the new spycam system they're installing in all the district's cess-schools. The board wants signs posted warning inmates that they're on 'candid camera'.

A cabal called the "District Advisory Committee on Community Health and Safety" spewed the following stop the presses prose: "...[the district must increase] security on campus by cultivating community, providing communications equipment and actively maintaining channels of communication." (Mirror)

For those wondering if anyone mentioned a damn thing about 'education' during this Board Meeting will be thrilled to learn that the aforementioned health and safety cabal, has some 'issues' with certain intolerable homework inequities. The cabal justified its notion that the district's prevailing homework policy must be amended with the following prose: "marked inequities in homework in the same academic subject which suggest that amount of homework is somewhat arbitrary, and for conscientious students, excess homework can undermine academic performance"...' (Mirror)

How, you ask, will any of this bovine excrement keep students from perpetrating another lunchtime punchout? We haven't got a clue, rational adult Sparky.

Spin Doctored Election Results
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [05/19]

"Antonio Villaraigosa, the first Mexican-American to be elected mayor of Los Angeles in over a century, won a landslide victory by energizing Latino voters and forging a broad coalition with a new brand of inclusive urban politics, analysts said on Thursday." (Reuters Emphasis added)

The foregoing quote is what passes for objective journalism in the Twenty-First Century. According to the terminally lefty News Nitwits, Hell-A's newly elected mayor is trumpeting in a new political era in Hell-A/Mexifornian/Amerikan politics. Bold new concept. As usual, PIG has a teensy problem with this breathless hype. All this hyperventilating and hot, spin-doctored, air conveniently buries the most important - but least reported - fact about the election: 7 out of 10 registered Hell-A voters didn't vote at all. That doesn't strike PIG as an "energized" electorate.

Put in their proper perspective, the election results tell a much different story than the one fishwraps are spewing from sea to shining sea. Mayor-Elect Villaraigosa failed to "energize" 82.2% (1,205,676) of Hell-A's 1,466,397 registered voters when a paltry 260,721 voters punched a hanging chad for him. The only reason he won by an alleged landslide is the thrilling fact that his opponent, Little Jimmy Hahn, failed to "energize" 87.4% (1,282,648) of Hell-A's 1,466,397 registered voters when a meager 183,749 voters gave him their official nod. While the lefties celebrate their new rising star and spin their whoppers about an energized electorate, weigh their deliberately misleading, spin doctored statistics against the fact that 69.4% (1,017,540) of Hell-A's registered voters didn't vote for either of the candidates. If anyone scored a landslide in this election it's the "they both suck" ticket that made 1,027,540 registered voters stay home on election day.

Are the lefties so utterly desperate that they need to spin this largely ignored runoff election into a voter tsunami that's ushering in a new era of multicultural politics? Apparently, but PIG can and will hold their feet to the fire, every step of the way.

Readers who want to spin-doctor their own statistics will find the following numbers from Hell-A's registrar of voters indispensable:

Registered Voters: 1,466,397
Total Votes Cast: 448,857
Villaraigosa: 260,721
Hahn: 183,749

PIG urges you to go forth and thrill your neighborhood lefty with your very own dazzling, Hell-A election statistics.

Mexifornia Legicrap
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [05/19]

According to the Sacramento Bee, the Marxist hacks in Mexifornia's state senate just passed a bill that would ban politicians from bombarding cell phones with political text messages. This bill closes a loophole that 'escaped' them in a prior bill that banned companies from sending unsolicited text message ads to these cell phone blights.

I 'get it', when it comes to these messages, but I just don't care. No doubt it's a bummer when cell idiots get messages from companies and hacks, then are forced to pay for the cell phone bandwidth they just consumed. Not my problem. I'll start to give a flaming damn when cell idiots stop bellowing into their goddamn phones while I'm in a restaurant, watching a movie or trying to hear myself think in a library, or store. Until then, I don't give a rip how much cell phone spam costs these bellowing cell idiot asshats.

Big Fun in Beserkeley
Source: Berkeley Daily Planet [05/17]

For reasons that would only make sense to them, the relevant hacks running Beserkeley (Mexifornia) shelled out $50,000 in taxpayer loot for an outdoor sculpture to mark the border between South Berkeley and North Oakland. And what, you ask, did they get for this princely sum? '...Eight-foot high steel letters proclaiming "Here" to motorists entering Berkeley and "There" to those heading towards Oakland...' (Berkeley Daily Planet). For those who care, the "here" and "there" designations stem from an Oakland denizen's, Gertrude Stein, legendary quote about Oakland: "There's no there there."

Although the sculpture is slated to go up any damn minute now, certain players within the Beserkeley establishment are having second thoughts. A Beserkeley Councilwench, Dona Spring, frets that the sculpture might make Oakland denizens feel bad. Beserkeley's Civic Arts Commissioner, Bonnie Hughes, plunged headlong into class warfare prose with this stop the presses quote: "By using a literary reference, what it says is we're smart and rich and you're nowhere." You're half right, at best, sweet cheeks. I might stand up an salute "rich", but you'd be hard pressed to prove that any-damn-body in Beserkeley rates an unequivocal "smart".

The lonely voice of reason on this tempest in a Beserkeley teapot comes from the artwork's co-creator, Oakland artist Steven Gillman:

"Why can't people lighten up a little bit?"...Gillman described the sculpture as an artistic alternative to putting up signage alerting motorists that they had entered a different city, and didn’t understand why "Here/There" would be more divisive than a standard sign. It seems people can turn just about anything into some kind of negative problem." (Daily Planet)

Nobody in Oakland seems to feel dissed by this sculpture, including the two artists who made the damn thing. Beserkeley's two whining wenches need to get over themselves and take meaningful steps toward developing a sense of damn humor.

Gulag Reconsiders It's Grocery Bag Tax
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [05/13]

The Gulag's Board of Supervisors stood at the ragged edge of the 17 cents per shopping bag tax precipice, stared down into the hellish political fallout abyss, then stepped back from this dizzying political plunge into abject irrationality. The reason for this 'let's think this thing over' attitude is a hotly debated one, but, when you cut through all the political hyperbole, you find a brief mention in this Gulag fishwrap that gets to at the real reason for this change:

'...Judging by the letters sent to the board, public opinion is running against the bag fee...' (Chronicle)

If only, these hacks whine, we could nail the bag manufacturers and the stores that use them, without having the costs passed along to the customers. Maybe, another proposes, we can lower the tax - based on some spin-doctored numbers that triples the number of bags used, annually - to a mere 4 or 5 cents a bag, another hack opines. The fetid, hack notion is clear: how do we screw over the city's consumers without generating a career ending "vote the bastards out" tsunami? I don't know and wouldn't tell these hacks if I did, but I'm confident that they'll think of something...eventually.

File this epic under, "bag tax down, but far from out" in your PIG News archives.

Gulag Fun And Games
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [05/11]

The hacks on the Gulag (San Francisco) Board of Supervisors are all for 'free speech', in theory, but, in practice, they're demanding more, uh, decorum, from the people who sound off during the Gulag's public meetings. To restore 'order', the hacks passed a new 'speech code' resolution by a unanimous 11-0 vote.

'..."The intent of this resolution is to make a clear statement that discrimination and harassment on the basis of race, religion, color, ancestry, age, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, weight, height or place of birth will not be tolerated in San Francisco city government," said [Board of Supervisors President Aaron] Peskin, who himself has endured unkind comments about his short stature...' (Chronicle)

Little Aaron Peskin is still on the rag after a the head of the Residential Builders Association, Joe O'Donoghue, dubbed Aaron "an angry dwarf", and "Heinrich" - as in Heinrich Himmler of Third Reich infamy. That's why it's no accident that Joe's moniker tops a long list of individuals who are cited, by name, for their colorful verbiage during public meetings. Watch your back, Joe, because the angry dwarf has his secret speech police painting a bull's-eye on you.

Afterthought:
Another tidbit from this Bay Area fishwrap is all the proof you need that Gulag hacks are Nanny State Bonkers:

'...Supervisor Gerardo Sandoval proposed a law to require diaper-changing stations in all newly constructed buildings that serve the public...' (Chronicle)

Mandatory diaper changing stations? Let's see Beserkeley and Montgomery County top that!

What's In A Name?
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [05/04]

With all the big problems solved, Mexifornia's state legislature decided to bitch slap a baseball team's owner over the recent name change he inflicted on his team. If you're thinking Angel's owner Arte Moreno, give yourself a cookie. Still steamed over the team's new moniker - The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - state Assemblyman Tom Umberg - his district includes Angel Stadium - served up a bill 'that would force the Angels to include a disclaimer on tickets and advertisements indicating the team plays in Anaheim, not Los Angeles' (L.A. Times). Silly? Maybe, but it just got voted out of the Assembly's Committee on Arts Entertainment, Sports Tourism and Internet Media by a unanimous 9-0 vote.

For those new to this name change panty twister, here's the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Cliff Notes:

Team owner Moreno insists that his name change notion isn't a slap at Anaheim. In fact, it's just a plan to lure in potential advertisers from throughout the 5-county Hell-A region.

"It's never been about the city. It's a long-term business strategy with the intent of reaching out to the greater metropolitan marketplace." (Angel spokesman Tim Mead)

If, as Moreno and the team's spokespunk insist, this name change is a clever marketing scheme, why is Moreno thinking so small? If expanding your marketing and sales reach to 5 Mexifornia counties is good, why not go for the brass ring and try to expand your territory to the entire world. Arte, dude, think big...really big, and change the name again, to "The Los Angeles, New York, London, Paris, Rome and Tokyo Angels of Anaheim". Why must I do all the heavy lifting on these bold new concepts. It's such a strain...[sigh]

Mexifornia Minutemen?
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [05/01]

Acting more like the relentless, iron-willed characters he portrayed on the big screen, Mexifornia's action hero governor shrugged off the criticism generated by his widely publicized appearance on a Hell-A boom box show - KFI's John and Ken Show. In fact, this time out, instead of waffling, the governor hung tough under relentless grilling by outraged News Nitwits who peppered him with questions during a public appearance Friday.

Signaling a change in the governor's stance on the hot button illegal immigration issue, even his minions are taking a hard stance against border jumping scumbags:

'...[Governor Schwarzenegger's press secretary,] Margita Thompson, said later that the governor would welcome the Minutemen in California, as long as they comply with the law by not patrolling with weapons or violating other statutes. She compared the group's efforts -- which involve looking for those trying to cross the border illegally and reporting the activity to federal border agents -- to the recall election that brought Schwarzenegger into office. She characterized the patrolling as a legitimate expression of frustration over the federal government's failure to stanch the inflow of undocumented workers...' (San Francisco Chronicle)

A Minuteman project on Mexifornia's porous, southern border is the best idea we've heard in a long, long time. PIG salutes Governor Schwarzenegger for taking the lead in the fight to secure Amerika's borders.

Governor Schwarzenegger Gets Back On Track
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [04/29]

Mexifornia's action hero governor is rebounding nicely, after his week-long sojourn in PIG's Girlie Man of The Week ignobility. His escape from Girl Man hell began on Thursday when he called in to Hell-A radio's ground zero for illegal immigration ire - KFI's John and Ken Show. PIG is delighted to report that the governor's 20 minute on-air stint has leftist asshat panties - foreign and domestic - in a hyper wad. His comments drew fishwrap ire, in all the usual places, from all the usual suspects.

For those cynical readers who demand proof that the governor, once again, deserves our praise, PIG offers the following items into the official record:

Exhibit A: Governor Schwarzenegger pinpointed the problem
'...He said he was deeply concerned watching recent Fox News videos showing "hundreds and hundreds of illegal immigrants coming across the border. I mean, what's that?'' Federal officials "owe it to the people to secure the borders ... they're not doing their job. They're leaving it way open, anyone can walk across,'' he said. "It's not just the problem of immigrants. It's also a problem that any terrorists can come in."...' (SF Chronicle)

Exhibit B: He praised the Minuteman Project
"I think they've done a terrific job. They've cut down the crossing of illegal immigrants a huge percentage. So it just shows that it works when you go and make an effort and when you work hard. It's a doable thing. " (PIG News Wire)

Exhibit C: He sounded off on federal border protection ineptitude
"Their job is to secure the borders, and they have not done their job. When the government ... doesn't do its job, then the private citizens go out. It is like a neighborhood patrol."

"The federal government has to take on this issue and take it seriously. It cannot kind of tiptoe around it they way they have been doing." (PIG News Wire)

Exhibit D: Last but not least, his comments have Mexican hacks going postal
'...[Mexico's Foreign Relations Department] rejected Schwarzenegger's comments, saying "these types of unfortunate pronouncements are not the way to achieve a better understanding between our country and California."...' (AP)

PIG isn't delusional enough to take credit for the governor's return to PIG's good graces, because, truth be told, we doubt that he's ever heard of us, or our Girlie Man of The Week award. Instead, we're willing to give all the credit to KFI's dynamic boom box duo, John and Ken, for eliciting these stellar comments from Mexifornia's action hero governor. PIG salutes Governor Schwarzenegger for daring to 'get real' about Amerika's mushrooming illegal immigration problem.

Mexifornia Legicrap
Source: Sacramento Bee [04/23]

Convinced that Mexifornia's government cess-schooled idiots with self esteem are such dunces they can't get out of their own way, Mexifornia hacks are ramming through not one, or two, but three bills that feature what they probably call "A Used Car Buyers Bill of Rights".

For those who want to laugh at this Marxist hack spasm - in triplicate - here are the gruesome details:

'...AB68 by Assemblywoman Cindy Montañez, D-San Fernando

Establishes a three-day cooling-off period allowing used-car buyers to return a car and pay a restocking fee.
Caps dealer markups on loans at no more than 2.5 percent.
Requires disclosure of credit score to used-car buyers and an itemized explanation of how any added items (alarm system, detailing, etc.) will add to cost of a loan.
Provides legal standards for a used car to be called "certified."

SB637 by Sen. Jackie Speier, D-Hillsborough

Does not include any cooling-off period but requires used-car contracts to remind buyers that state law does not include one.
Caps dealer markups on loans at no more than 2.5 percent but allows some exceptions, such as when a loan is assigned "to affiliates of the seller."
Requires buyers' credit score to be disclosed and an itemized explanation of how added items will add to a loan.
Also provides legal standards for a used car to be called "certified."

[A Proposed] Ballot initiative

Includes a three-day cooling-off period and expands it to cars sold "as-is." Montañez's bill does not include "as-is" cars.
Caps dealer markup on loans at $150.
Generally toughens approach to "certified" used car standards, plus includes a mandated warranty...' (Bee)

It's highly unlikely that all three with pass muster, but it's a slam dunk that at least one of the damn things will get the nod. Of the three, the last - the Ballot Initiative - is the worst, and the one most likely to become Mexifornia law.

Turmoil At Santa Monica High
Source: Santa Monica Mirror [04/21]

Santa Monica High (henceforth Samohi) officials are still in a tizzy as they attempt to cope with a fight involving a dozen or so students that broke out during the lunch hour on Friday (April 15). Since the schoolyard punchout featured "Latino" and "African American" Samohi inmates, Soviet Monica Educrats are determined to "understand" their way through this crisis. The Educrat approach to this incident is a case study in Korrectnik Educrap:

Instead of convening a school assembly where Samohi officials would scream the student body into compliance - ah, the good old days - Samohi Educrats called a "community meeting" to engage Samohi inmates in a meaningful dialog.

Teachers didn't bluster about "no fighting, under any circumstances", they 'discussed the incident with students [and] pointed out that the school’s rules often differ from family rules and that there are "differences between how cultures resolve conflict."...' (Mirror)

Properly-hyphenated parents played the race card with complaints that their combative offspring were given second class citizenship status by Samohi officials. One parent opined that the crappy grades incurred by properly-hyphenated students stemmed from the students' struggles with racism and bias.

As expected, this pagan scribbler has a couple PIGish observations about this hand-wringing, Samohi angst:

The fight has little to do with racism, bias or oppression. It's a turf war between the dominant, but numerically smaller, minority group - the Melanin-Enriched - and the much more numerous Colonistas who want to take their place at the top of Soviet Monica High's victimhood heap.

If this lunchtime melee had involved whitey against either minority group, Je$$e would show up in a heartbeat to lead a noisy, headline grabbing protest against endemic oppression at Samohi. Instead of understanding their way to peace and tranquility, Samohi officials would be sentencing every Melanin-deficient Samohi student to sensitivity training and hate crime seminars.

PIG promises to muster some heartfelt concern over Samohi's plight, if we ever stop laughing about these People's Republic Educrats' and their asinine antics.

Shut Up, Shit Down
Source: Sacramento Bee [04/20]

What bloated, beared, Marxist, alleged film director is trying to inflict his class warrior bovine excrement on sovereign individuals, again? If you answered 'Michael Moore', you're close, but slightly off the mark. The bloated Marxist asshat in question is Mexifornia's aspiring governor, Robin "Meathead" Reinerhood (A.K.A Rob Reiner). This time out, he's playing class warrior bingo with a new ballot initiative that would tax "the rich" to pay for more, tax-funded government cess-school crap-o-la.

'...[Robin Reinerhood's soak the 'rich' scheme would, allegedly, fund] a voluntary half-day program that would be administered by the state superintendent of public instruction, fund both private and public programs and begin first serving some of the state's most impoverished neighborhoods. Backers estimated it will eventually bring 10,000 new teachers and 10,000 aides into a state that ranks 37th nationally in the per capita number of 4-year-olds in preschool...' (Bee)

Reinerhood needs to shut the hell up and sit his bloated ass down, right goddamn now, because he's tragically delusional if he thinks another year of government cess-school indoctrination will do one damn thing to change Mexifornia's prevailing, Idiots With Self Esteem Educrap system. Butt ugly as he is, Reinhood can't possibly be this stupid. He knows this class warfare crap won't do a damn thing for Mexifornia tykes, but he's not doing this for them, he's trying to score points with the state's terminally lefty electorate.

This class warfare bovine excrement is just the opening salvo in Reinerhood's campaign to turn egregiously Socialist Mexifornia into unremittingly Marxist Mexifornia when he's crowned Mexifornia's tyrant for life...I mean Governor. Electing Reinerhood would drive the last nail in Mexifornia's coffin, condemning the state's denizen's to abject, unremitting, Marxist tyranny and economic chaos. "Just shoot me", sums up this pagan scribbler's attitude about a Governor Reinerhood.

"Meathead" is more than a name; it's a apt description for this bloated, Marxist, blowhard. That's why he earned his spot on PIG's infamous Amerika's Least Wanted roster.

Terminator Turns Girlie Man
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [04/20]

"Close the borders in California and all across Mexico and in the United States. Because I think it is just unfair to have all those people coming across, have the borders open the way it is, and have this kind of lax situation."
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, April 19, 2005

Mexifornia's action hero governor got a tad too real during an appearance, when he laid down some harsh truths about stemming the border jumping scumbag tide, but, regrettably, the ensuing News Nitwit furor took the starch out of him in record time. Faster than a border jumper sprinting to grab those taxpayer funded handouts, the Terminator channeled his inner girlie man with apologies, a frantic clarification and the usual political hack weasel words. "Close the borders" changed, for the time being, to "secure our borders", but give him 5 minutes more in the Korrectnik bull's-eye and he'll be laying out a red goddamn carpet for every border jumping scumbag invader between the Rio Grande and Tierra del Fuego.

For a minute there, the Terminator flirted with PIG's vaunted Hero Of The Week. Thanks to his spineless girlie man antics, he just became a lock for PIG's newest award: Girlie Man of The Week.

PIG, generously, bestows the following wisdom on Mexifornia's action hero governor: Grow a goddamn spine Arnold and stop kissing all that border jumping scumbag ass.

Hell-A's Mean Streets Just Got A Lot Meaner
Source: Pasadena Star-News (Southern Mexifornia) [04/16]

A routine traffic stop got terminally thrilling when Acadia (a Hell-A suburb) police pulled a car over for 'equipment violations'. What started out as just another ticket writing adventure to fill those chronically empty city coffers turned into a 5-hour standoff when one of the car's occupants brandished a hand grenade, then pulled the explosive goodie's pin.

Although the driver, Ryan Michaelson, bailed and let the cops lead him away, the grenade commando, Andrew Hernandez, stayed put until the cops, finally talked him into 'doing the right thing'. At press time, this grenade-packing asshat is an honored guest in the Acadia graybar, facing a laundry list of charges. Since nobody is likely to pony up the cool $1,000,000,000 to spring him, he's gonna be in the slammer for the foreseeable future.

Sierra Club's Civil War Over Immigration
Source: Sacramento Bee [04/09]

Reality reared its improbable head in the Sierra Club when a sizeable cabal within its membership demanded that the venerable, ultra liberal, tree hugger tribe take a meaningful, public stand against illegal immigration. Citing the border jumping scumbag horde's impact on Amerika's population growth, some members insist that illegal immigration is a proper - urgent - problem that the Sierra Club should address:

'...Sierrans for U.S. Population Stabilization, a network of club activists seeking to limit immigration, are backing five candidates and pushing a "yes" vote, asserting that Americans are the world's biggest consumers, and that when immigrants come to this country they significantly increase their consumption...' (Bee)

These temporarily rational tree huggers hope to change the Sierra Club's immigration policy via the ongoing election for five of the seats on the Sierra Club's 15 member board of directors. This Sierra Club civil war over illegal immigration reaches critical mass on April 25, when the election results are announced. If all goes well, the renegade Sierra Club members would have a stronger voice in setting the group's policy position on illegal immigration.

It's highly unlikely that these temporarily rational Sierra Club members will manage to shoehorn the tree hugger cabal into opposing illegal immigration, publically, because it might annoy their key allies in the civil rights movement and certain labor unions. Instead, keeping their border jumping scumbag invasion blinders on, tragically delusional Sierra Club members insist on tilting the 'world population growth' windmill, despite the fact that there's not a damn thing they can do about it.

If anything thrilling happens at the Gulag-based, Sierra Club, PIG News will pass along all the fun facts.

Korrectnik Journalism
Source: Berkeley Daily Planet [04/07]

In a piece about immigration, the Berkeley Daily Planet reached for the Korrectnik prose brass ring with its blithering about "reuniting families", "cultural exchange" and my personal favorite for Euphemism of the Year, "regularize his immigration status". Throughout the fishwrap spew, there was one word - a definitive word, on this topic - that never made the cut for this Beserkeley fishwrap. The missing word is "illegal".

Somehow in all their warm, fuzzball, blithering about this immigrant's plight and that immigrant's angst, this lefty fishwrap never found the time to state the obvious: These "immigrants" created their own goddamn problems when they entered this country illegally or overstayed their student visa. The lip-flapping lefties infesting the Berkeley Daily Planet need to wake up and smell the border jumping scumbag coffee. Don't make us come up there.

Gulag Paints A Bull's-Eye On Free Speech
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [04/04]

A Gulag hackette named Sophie Maxwell - San Francisco Board of Supervisors - served up a new ordinance that would - when passed - impose strict regulations on the City's bloggers. For those cursed to live - and blog - in the Gulag, here are the thrilling, liberty exterminating particulars:

'...[Comrade Maxwell's edict] would require local bloggers to register with the City Ethics Commission and report all blog-related costs that exceed $1,000 in the aggregate. Blogs that mention candidates for local office that receive more than 500 hits will be forced to pay a registration fee and will be subject to website traffic audits, according to Chad Jacobs, a San Francisco City Attorney. However, these rules will not apply to any other media, just blogs...' (Liberal Lunacy Web Site)

The First Amendment is on life-support in the Gulag. This is not a drill.

Public Service Announcement
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [04/02]

If you accidently broke into an LAPD facility and borrowed the two 1 pound canisters of ammonium nitrate the department uses to train its bomb-sniffing dogs, Hell-A's Police Chief William Bratton would really, really, really like you to bring the canisters back. You see, the items you, inadvertently, borrowed are on loan from the Feds and they really want the stuff back, too, so put it back where you found it and all will be forgiven. Honest injun.

Proving that a functional brain isn't a prerequisite for top police officials, an official LAPD statement assured the public that the missing ammonium nitrate isn't really dangerous, in and of itself, because it needs a blasting cap to detonate. It's safe to assume that the clowns who stole your explosives already know that, spokesdolt Sparky.

Illegal Immigration's Hidden Costs, Exposed
Source: AP [03/31]

Hell-A's county supervisors weren't necessarily thrilled when a new state audit exposed how many taxpayer dollars are spent coddling the border jumping scumbags who infest the City of Angels in such large numbers. You don't need Nostradamus to predict that this taxpayer-funded rathole is a deep one:

'...The audit, debated Tuesday by county supervisors, found that the county spends about $340 million a year treating undocumented immigrants at its health facilities and could save between $130 million and $138 million a year by discontinuing nonemergency services to them, according to the Los Angeles Daily News...' (AP)

As bad as things are, now, they're destined to get much worse:

'...Federal waivers that have pumped $2.2 billion into the county healthcare system since 1995 are set to end this summer. The county is expected to have a $435 million shortfall by July 2006 that will grow to $1.4 billion by July 2008, according to the county...' (AP)

This taxpayer largess is one reason that border jumping scumbags are such a bargain for Amerikan employers. By paying them off the books, these employers shift the government mandated benefits onto the Amerikan taxpayer, many of whom are losing their jobs to these border jumping invaders.

Afterthought:
For a more comprehensive discussion of Illegal Immigration check out PIG's Illegal Immigration Primer in our Victimhood Section: PIG's Illegal Immigration Primer

LAPD Finally Gets It, More or Less
Source: Bakersfield Californian [03/31]

Hell-A's men in blue are, belatedly, getting real about the dangerous, border-jumping scumbag felons who, routinely, turn the city's mean streets into a shooting gallery. At present, the cops still operate under a 1979 "don't ask, don't tell" policy that orders LAPD officers not to inquire about, or report, an individual's immigration status. Thanks to this policy, the police stand idly by while murderous, border-jumping thugs like the infamous MS-13 - a Salvadoran gang - are allowed to rape, pillage and kill. That might change, if a proposed policy change gets implemented.

'...Assistant Police Chief George Gascon said the proposal would direct officers to report suspected felons in the United States illegally to their supervisors, who would then consult with immigration officials. Officers would be able to arrest felons if it's determined they are illegal immigrants, Gascon said...' (Californian)

Will the LAPD 'do the right thing' and start rounding up these border-jumping scumbag felons? Don't bet the farm on it, because in terminally Korrectnik Hell-A, anything that rational ain't gonna fly. You heard it here, first.

San Jose's Living Wage
Source: Sacramento Bee [03/27]

San Jose Airport-based car rental firms are threatening to close up shop and move their businesses out of the airport if the city subjects them to the city's living wage ordinance. Although San Jose hacks passed the living wage atrocity in 1998, they still haven't inflicted it on all the companies that supply services to the city. Belatedly, the hacks are making noises about changing that, and it's not sitting well with the rental car firms that - according to airport officials - ring up $12 million to $18 million dollars a year in revenue.

Would the rental car companies forgo that enrichment completely? No way in hell, Scooter. They'd simply move their operations out of the airport and offer passengers shuttle service to the off airport rental car facility. That way, they keep their revenues at their current levels and avoid the added costs - estimated to be $4 million to $5 million a year - imposed by a living wage law. It's big fun time in San Jose, frequent flier Sparky.

Dead White Males Banned In Berkeley
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [03/23]

Beserkeley (Mexifornia) Korrectniks want to erase another dead white male from their collective memories by renaming Thomas Jefferson Elementary School. Although Thomas Jefferson wrote The Declaration of Independence, designed the Oval Office and founded the Library of Congress, our nation's third president doesn't pass Korrectnik muster because this founding father owned slaves.

Korrectnik names that Beserkeley dipsticks considered include, but aren't limited to: Cesar Chavez Elementary, Sojourner Truth Elementary, & Peace Elementary. Believe it or not, Thomas Jefferson Elementary School isn't the first Beserkeley cess-school to buckle under due to Korrectnik whining. In bygone years Korrectniks imposed these changes:

Columbus Elementary School became Rosa Parks Elementary School
James Garfield Middle School became Martin Luther King Jr. Middle School
Abraham Lincoln Elementary became Malcolm X Elementary

Columbus had to go because he majorly annoys Siberian-Americans. Garfield's only presidential accomplishment is getting himself assassinated, so he's a goner too. But, try as I might, I can't find a suitable Korrectnik reason for dumping Honest Abe. Since the alleged 'reason' would, undoubtedly, piss me off, I'm willing to file this Korrectnik mystery under "Don't know. Don't really care."

Berkeley's Biodiesel Brain-Fart
Source: Contra Costa Times [03/19]

Determined to do their bit to keep Berkeley on the cutting edge, environmentally, the city plunged into an alternate fuels adventure that switched city trucks from garden variety diesel to something called 'biodiesel'. That was two years ago, but the program didn't turn out exactly as planned, so the city is, grudgingly, cutting back on the program and might even dump it entirely. Those readers eager to gloat over this latest Beserkeley reality check will be thrilled by the following tidbits:

'...The fuel, made from vegetable oil and recycled deep-fryer oil, is cleaner and safer to use, say proponents. But its nontoxicity is part of the problem -- bacterial growths resembling algae blooms can grow in it, said Dave Williamson of the Ecology Center, which switched its fleet to biodiesel before the city did. "The critters really love it," Williamson said. "Basically, the fuel goes rancid."...' (Contra Costa Times)

Cost is another pesky problem. This planet friendly fuel costs 80 cents per gallon more than regular diesel.

Touted as planet friendly, biodiesel is not rated as a 'clean burning fuel' by Mexifornia's Smog Nazis because it 'produces more nitrous oxide [than low sulfur diesel], which is a precursor to smog.' (Contra Costa Times)

The bottom line on this reality-challenged adventure is that the fuel does more harm than good to the trucks' engines, it's costing the city $200,000 per year more than a low-sulfer diesel and it's a smog problem. Other than that, it's an idea whose time has come. Only Beserkeley's hacks would salute environmentalism with a fuel that doesn't work, costs a lot more and pollutes the air more than the fuel it replaces. That sound you hear is Mother Nature laughing her ass off.

Mexifornia In The News
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [03/15]

Berkeley, Mexifornia
Beserkeley Unified School District settled a class action lawsuit that claimed this lefty enclave's government cess-school trampled on properly-hyphenated student's constitutional rights "by expelling them without proper hearings" (Contra Costa Times). This Mexifornia fishwrap doesn't provide the relevant details on "proper hearing", but it's safe to assume that's a smoke screen. Why? The following fishwrap prose delivers our Paul Harvey Moment and "the rest of the story":

'...the school must work on reducing the disproportionate number of African American and Latino students affected by discipline policies...' (Contra Costa Times)

Obviously, Beserkeley Unified's melanin-deficient (white) inmates aren't going their part to promote proper diversity among the school system's disciplinary cases. If these uncooperative oppressors won't fill their discipline cases quota - as determined by the latest census data - voluntarily, the school might be forced to, randomly, select melanin-deficient students for suspension and expulsion. This could only happen in Beserkeley.

Berkeley, Mexifornia
If you're planning a visit to this leftist enclave, try to avoid the Center Street where it intersects Shattuck Avenue. When you drive west on Center Street and into the aforementioned intersection you just entered this city's most notorious traffic nightmare. You can't go straight ahead, because the road is closed for Vista College construction. You can't turn right, because you'd be going on a one-way street. To make this transportation Catch-22 complete, left turns are also impossible, because there's a sign that reads "No Left Turn - Except Busses and Bicycles."

Add this to your Manhattan phone book size list of reasons to avoid this differently-rational, Northern Mexifornia blight.

Soviet Monica, Mexifornia
Certain denizens in the Peoples Republic of Santa Monica are terrified that the cell phone towers located within the city limits are a threat to their health and sanity. Do cell towers pose a health danger? I doubt it. On the other hand, it's accurate to state that, when it comes to Soviet Monica denizens, the S.S. Sanity has already sailed, without them. Case in point, a straitjacket escapee named Matt Baird:

'...[Baird blithers] studies show that "residents who live next to microwave cell phone towers" will be subjected to "substantial health risks such as cancer, brain tumors, loss of memory, and high rates of suicide due to loss of serotonin."

"How do we know if the accumulative radiation within Santa Monica is safe if no one knows where the antennas are?"...' (Santa Monica Mirror)

As much as this pagan scribbler hates cell iciocy, he's not willing to blame Matt Baird's rapidly declining mental condition on this high tech, telecommunications blight. Matt, obviously, got this weird all by himself. The shock treatments aren't working dude, have the town's designated rational adult increase the voltage, stat.

West Hollywood, Mexifornia
A notorious GLAAD BAAG haven, West Hollywood is Southern Mexifornia's attempt at Beserkeley-class Korrectness, so it's hardly a shock that this lefty-infested pesthole is non-clinically bonkers when it comes to critter coddling. I know what you're thinking, but, as usual, you're wrong. The critter's in this instance are four, not two, legged:

In 2002, a West Hollywood decree replaced "pet owner" with "guardian" and "pet" with "animal companion".

West Hollywood is the first city in Amerika to outlaw declawing cats.

West Hollywood wants to make cosmetic surgery on your critter companion - tail docking, ear cropping, etc. - illegal, too.

Did West Hollywood swish into Mexifornia's lefty enclave lead, passing such prime contenders as Beserkeley, Santa Cruz and Soviet Monica? You better believe it, differently-sexual Sparky.

Holding W's Feet To The Fire On Immigration
Source: Washington Times [03/11]

W's upcoming, March 23 meeting in Mexas with his Sombrero Stomping master, Vincente Fox, hasn't gone unnoticed in certain circles. Tired of W's dithering on certain extradition issues, some Mexifornia law enforcement officials decided to remind W that he made promises that he needs to keep. In 2003, W promised the widow of a slain Los Angeles County Deputy Sheriff, David March, that he'd pressure Mexico to return the murderer, Armando Garcia. Fast forward to 2005 and murdering asshat, Armando Garcia, remains free in Mexico, protected by that pissant nation's highest court and a Mexican government that thumbs its nose at Amerikan justice.

'..."President Bush's repeated refusal to pressure Mexico to return accused killers of police officers to the United States is a silent way of giving these vicious killers an executive pardon. Bush is sending a dangerous message to criminals in the U.S. and abroad, and he cannot allow Mexico to proudly harbor dozens of criminals who have killed in America and fled to Mexico to evade prosecution." (Los Angeles Police Protective League president, Robert Baker as quoted by the Washington Times)

This week, the L.A. Police Protective League wrote letters to W and Secretary of State Condi Rice, reminding them that David March's family is still waiting for the murdering asshat to be brought to justice. When will W grow a spine and remind Vicente Fox that Amerika doesn't need to take his crap? Not in your lifetime, secure our borders Sparky.

Afterthought
Mexico's high court did more than cite the death penalty as 'cruel and unusual punishment' they also laid the same prose on life imprisonment without the possibility of parole.

If Mexico insists on playing these asinine games with us, Uncle Sam should give them what they deserve and nuke that poverty-stricken pesthole into oblivion. This is not a drill.

Beserkely's Educrap Angst
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [02/28]

Beserkely (Mexifornia) teachers are more than a tad annoyed that two hellish years passed without a pay raise, so they vowed to give the school district what it paid for and not one second more. These tragically maligned Educrats won't perform any work-related tasks on their own time, and will limit their activities to their allotted working hours, unless they get the raise they demand. After hours tasks on the chopping block include, but aren't limited to: grading papers, calculating grades, scoring tests, reading book reports, attending school-related events after normal working hours such as staffing a science fair. So there!

This is all well and good, as far as it goes, but life would be that much niftier if these Beserkeley Educrats would also cease and desist indoctrinating cess-school inmates during normal working hours. If we could get them to go that extra mile, life - for Beserkeley's cess-school inmates - would be nearly perfect.

FCC's Korrectnik Fines
Source: Sacramento Bee [02/23]

Three San Diego boob tube outlets played FCC fine bingo and lost, for 'failing to provide timely captions and graphics for deaf or partially deaf viewers' (Bee) during the 2003 wildfires that ravaged Southern Mexifornia. According to the FCC asshats, stations are required to give deaf viewers the necessary emergency related info "simultaneously" or "nearly simultaneously", but, as usual, the agency doesn't give stations so much as a hint about how these terms translate into a firm, easily understood time limit. Is "nearly simultaneously" 15 minutes, a hour, two hours? That vital information is FCC top secret.

In practice, these fines will give the FCC a 'heads up' on the dreaded law of unintended consequences. Since a station doesn't want to play FCC fine bingo, it will withhold ALL emergency information from their airwaves until the relevant graphics and captions are in place. If that means some people die or get injured due to a lack of timely emergency information, that's the price that must be paid to meet the FCC's asinine regulations. When that tragedy occurs, those deaths are on the FCC's heads, not the boob tube stations that complied with this irrational FCC edict.

Mexifornia Legicrap
Source: Contra Costa Times [02/23]

Mexifornia's Marxist hacks submitted the following gems before today's deadline for filing bills left them out in the cold for another legislative session:

AB352: Requires that semiautomatic handguns include some nifty goodie that stamps the weapon's serial number on each bullet it fires.

AB178, AB17: Requires that all cancer sticks sold in the state be "self-extinguishing".

AB450: Restricts the sale and rental, to children, of "especially heinous, atrocious or cruel" violent video games.

AB657: Requires that pharmacists list a drug's use and the malady for which it's prescribed on the container.

AB282: Imposes a "500 fine on anyone who displays 'sexually explicit material in a vehicle in public'.

If you're condemned to live in Mexifornia, I feel your pain. If you escaped that indignity, I envy you.

Strange Bedfellows
Source: Sacramento Bee [02/11]

If you need proof that illegal immigration has 'arrived' as a top political issue, you need look no further than Mexifornia Senator Diane Feinstein. In bygone days she remained silent on the issue or, quietly, voted against it, so imagine this pagan scribbler's shock when he stumbles over the following quote:

'..."The federal government should have the ability to issue standards that all driver's licenses and identification documents should meet," Feinstein said in a statement. "The issue is how should this be done, phased in and paid for. ... I also am a strong supporter of Operation Gatekeeper and completion of the border fence."...' (Bee)

Welcome to the real world, Senator Feinstein. It's refreshing to know that, at least for now, you're smelling the border jumping asshat invasion coffee.

Are Berkeley's Lunatic Lefties Getting Soft?
Source: Berkeley Daily Planet [02/05]

Based on recent ballot box results, the usual lunatic lefties worry that Beserkeley is thisclose to losing it's rightful place on the cutting edge of the progressive juggernaut. Some Beserkely lefties are so distraught that they're contemplating - gasp - moving somewhere more...enlightened. How bad are things in Beserkely? Very, according to this fishwrap:

'...In November, measures to make Berkeley the first city to publicly finance city elections, decriminalize prostitution and guarantee the distribution of marijuana in the case of a federal crackdown all went down in defeat.

Two year’s earlier, voters by a margin of greater than 2-1 defeated an initiative, proposed by former Berkeley resident Rick Young and backed by Global Exchange, that would have barred brewed coffee that wasn’t fair trade, shade grown or organic...' (Daily Planet)

Is reality rearing its ugly head in 'more progressive than thou' Beserkeley? Is unscheduled synaptic activity dragging Beserkeley's ultra liberals - screaming and kicking - into the real world? The usual worrywarts think so, but I seriously doubt it. Any day now, Beserkeley's Marxist meatheads will do something asinine and it'll be business as usual in this progressive utopia.

Bay Area Fun And Games
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [01/26]

Gulag (San Francisco)
The Gulag stepped into it, again, this week with an 8-3 vote by the city's commissars that bans smoking, outdoors. The new edict criminalizes smoking 'in all parks, public squares and many other outdoor spaces owned by the city' (News Max). The first offense costs you $100. The second offense nails you for $200. Thereafter, each additional offense hammers you for a hefty $500.

That sound you just heard is a primal scream from PIG's outraged, 'smoke 'em if you've got 'em' publisher. If the dude isn't puffing on his coffin nail, he's in a coma. And now you know the rest of the story.

Oakland, Mexifornia
Across the bay from the Gulag, the Alameda County Board of Supervisors voted, unanimously, to ban discrimination based on an alleged human's "sexual identity". This government safety net for the differently-sexual applies to Alameda County employment, services, facilities, and contractors doing business with the county.

You don't need Nostradamus to predict that this thrills Mexifornia's family values funsters - they do exist, believe it or not - spitless:

'...Randy Thomasson, president of the Campaign for Children and Families, who says the action will "force women and girls to endure transsexual men entering and using women's restrooms on county-owned property, including parks and libraries where children gather. The resolution also forces county employees and contractors to agree with transsexuality and sex changes, or suffer retribution if they complain or resist."...' (World Net Daily)

If you're not smelling a family values-oriented shyster assault and/or ballot initiative, wake the hell up. The two sides are girding for battle and spoiling for a fight. It's big fun time, again, in the lefty-infested Bay Area.

Berkeley, Mexifornia
Berkeley Bowl, Beserkeley's favorite, one-of-a-kind, grocery emporium is so popular that locals dubbed this shopping adventure/melee the "Berkeley Brawl". Needing a way to handle more customers, more efficiently, the store's owner, Glenn Yasuda, decided to build a second store - one essentially the same size - about a mile from his original capitalist outpost. And how, you ask, did his terminally-lefty neighbors react? Predictably.

The ensuing, typically-Beserkeley, brain-fart is classical NIMBY bovine excrement:

'...instead of joy in the flatlands, there is discord because critics say Yasuda is trying to create a "superstore'' that will draw traffic off nearby Interstate 80 and swamp neighborhood residents and businesses with traffic...' (San Francisco Chronicle)

"Superstore"? Not really. Glenn's existing store is 45,000 square feet; the new store would be 51,000 square feet. Neither comes close to a 90,000 square foot grocery behemoth in nearby El Cerrito.

Given Beserkeley's irrational - to the max - track record, I'm betting that Glenn Yasuda's new store isn't gonna fly in Beserkeley. Good luck dude. You're gonna need it.

Afterthought
The next time one of his customers whines about Berkeley Bowl over crowding, Glenn should remind them that the did it to themselves with their NIMBY antics. But, as tempting as it might be to respond with a heartfelt "Bite me, NIMBY asshats", it's probably not a nifty way to secure repeat business.

Asinine Mexifornia Antics
Source: Los Angeles Times [01/22]

Thanks to a 'protect the children' goodie called Megan's law, women who flash their sweater puppies in public are on the fast track to registered sex offender status. If some wench gets frisky and does some topless sunbathing in public, she's thisclose to earning an indecent exposure conviction and a place on the state's registered sex offenders honor roll. Setting aside the obvious question - why is naked wenchdom outlawed in the first place - we're left with an asinine edict that doesn't do a damn thing to make Mexifornia young 'uns safe from sexual predators.

For those who think this pagan scribbler is exaggerating, consider the following:

'...In an Orange County case last month, a state Court of Appeal ruled that anyone convicted of misdemeanor indecent exposure must be listed as a sex offender under Megan's Law. The databank recently was placed on the Internet, so people can search it for sex offenders. The court said including indecent exposure offenders is not cruel and unusual punishment because Megan's Law is not technically a "punishment" but simply a regulatory tool...' (Times)

If you spend any time in Mexifornia, be very, very careful, or you'll win the state's registered sex offender lottery. Impossible you say? Not really. If some dude whips it out behind a tree to drain the snake...he's begging for an indecent exposure conviction. When some mutant drops his drawers to moon - whomever - as a joke, he's begging for an indecent exposure conviction. And, as stated earlier, if some wench airs out her sweater puppies in public, she's begging for an indecent exposure conviction. If anyone thinks children will be safer by adding such people to the sexual offenders rolls, they're tragically delusional.

Mexifornia continues its headlong plunge into abject, Nanny State tyranny.

Afterthought
A Mexifornia shyster wench is on a Quixotian quest to rescue sweater puppy flashing wenches, if the state's Marxist legicrats will play along. She wants to make it street legal for wenches to flash their sweater puppies while sunbathing. It's 'sexist' to single out women, when men can go topless with impunity, she insists. The proposed, sweater puppy liberating legicrap might pass muster with Mexifornia's Marxist hack horde, but don't bet your lifesavings on it.

Shyster Enrichment In The Gulag
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [01/17]

When shysters painted Gulag (San Francisco) Educrats into a corner with a class action lawsuit on behalf of disabled cess-school inmates, the city's Educrats - aided and abetted by a timely school bond measure - blinked. The district short-circuited the looming shyster drama with an agreement to spend $300,000,000 over a 10 year period to make cess-schools cool for disabled inmates. A happy ending for everyone concerned, at taxpayer expense? Not exactly.

This week, the other shyster shoe dropped, when the class action shysters nailed the Educrats with a $9,000,000 legal bill. The following are a few, eye-opening billing highlights:

Jose Allen, partner at Skadden Arps, $810 dollars per hour

Mary Gillespe, San Francisco Legal Aid Society- Employment Law Center, $588 dollars per hour

Patricia Shiu, San Francisco Legal Aid Society- Employment Law Center, $552 dollars per hour

George Wallace, Schneider and Wallace, $552 dollars per hour

As fun - as enriching - as this is for all concerned, it gets better. The same shyster asshats are gearing up for a new, even bigger, disability-based shyster assault. This time out, they're targeting much deeper pockets by painting a 'next victim' bull's-eye on the Gulag itself, citing such alleged outrages as disability-unfriendly traffic signals and "noncompliant office buildings". I know I should be mad as hell about his newest shyster obscenity, but, when it's the Gulag in the shyster bull's-eye, sympathy isn't a slam dunk.

It Ain't Over, Until...
Source: Orange County Register (Mexifornia) [01/15]

The commie pinko scumbucket tyrants ruling Vietnam from Hanoi will be thrilled to learn that a former 4-star South Vietnamese general, Nguyen Khank, is the new president of a Mexifornia-based cabal called the "Government of Free Vietnam". President Nguyen won his new position at a January 2 convention held in Anaheim (Mexifornia) that was attended by a patriotic, never say die, throng numbering a whopping 560.

Being exiled from your native land by commie asshats sucks, in the extreme, and that's a no shit fact. But, it happened 30 years ago and the commies aren't going anywhere, for the foreseeable future. Bearing that in mind, isn't it time for the Vietnamese expatriates in the Government of Free Vietnam to stop fixating on the past and start building a better future, here, today? Probably, but don't held your breath for anything that rational.

Since the ongoing battle to liberate Vietnam is, largely, rhetorical and symbolic, it gets a "no harm, no foul" rating from this pagan scribbler.

We're Outta Here?
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [01/12]

A Mexifornia denizen named Jeff Morrissette is mad as hell and he's not gonna take it anymore. Citing the paltry 78 cents return for every Mexifornia tax dollar stolen by the feds, Jeff hatched a cutting edge notion: Mexifornia should secede from the United States. Unwilling to support red state dweebs with Mexifornia tax dollars, Jeff created 'The Committee to Explore California Secession'.

According to the posting on Jeff's website "Move On California", he's motivated by more than the state's tax donor status. Jeff is terrified by the prospect of an Amerika dominated by the rigidly righteous, red state right-wingnuts who gave W his second term. The following excerpts were lifted from an article posted on the Move On California site: 'Red State Reasons for Considering Secession'.

'...the influence of religious conservatives in Middle America and the South is growing. With Christian conservative families growing at a rate greater than 25% of urban moderate and liberal households, the voting influence of culturally conservative states will continue to dominate elections, politics and policy for generations to come...'

'...We might as well get ready for a Supreme Court that will make landmark decisions that roll back the clock on civil rights, women’s rights, gay rights and all other kinds of freedoms that are the hallmark of a tolerant society...'

'...The stark difference will be seen when the religious conservatives take over the FCC. If you or I are skipping across channels and we land on the 700 Club we exercise our right to watch or not watch. If the religious conservative skips through the channels and lands on something they think is objectionable, they DEMAND it be taken off the air. In a free society you can choose to watch or not watch. In a society dominated by cultural conservatives THEY are going to make choices for you. Just wait and see. The Christian equivalent of a "wardrobe malfunction" is a woman taking the bonnet off her head...'

In theory, Jeff's notion isn't as irrational as it seems. But, reality urges extreme caution before Mexifornia denizens go off on their own. Given free reign in an independent, Mexifornia People's Republic, the no longer 'golden' state's Marxist hack horde would launch the bar for Nanny State overkill into orbit. As tyrannical as the dreaded Amerikan theocracy will become, a Marxist Mexifornia Eden would be much, much worse. Count this sovereign individual out, Jeff.

Nanny State Adventure
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [01/06]

The Gulag (San Francisco, Mexifornia) is at it again, with an edict that spells out - in eye popping detail - the city-mandated accommodations that the Gulag's "pet guardians" must provide for his, her or its canine companion(s). According to this Chronicle piece, Rover is living large in the Gulag:

Shelter:
'...Dog must have full access to an enclosed building at all times. Structure must have five sides, including a floor raised off the ground free of spots where insects, rodents or parasite eggs could lodge. Dog must be able to stand up and turn around freely and have access to clean, dry bedding in cold weather...'

Nourishment:
'Water container must be designed to prevent tipping or spilling and must be clean, kept out of the sun and changed at least once a day. Food must be wholesome, palatable and sufficiently nutritious...'

Other Fun Stuff:
'...Tethering is highly discouraged and is acceptable only if tether is attached to a stake in the ground with a pulley-like system and to the dog with a non-choke collar or body harness at least 10 feet long...'

Demonstrating, conclusively, that Gulag hacks are lefty, in the extreme, this edict, specifically, exempts "...persons who, due to financial hardship, are unable to provide shelter for themselves" (Chronicle). That's right, Gulag fans - and we both know who you are - the homeless horde that transformed San Francisco's fabled streets into an open sewer get a pass on this Fido coddling legicrap.

The Gulag reigns supreme at the cutting edge of the blue state, lunatic liberal fringe. You heard it here, first.

Angels' Owner Disses Anaheim
Source: Sacramento Bee [01/03]

Anaheim hack knickers are in a knot, because the Angels' (an alleged MLB franchise) owner, Arte Moreno, changed the team's name from the 'Anaheim Angels' to - drum roll please - 'The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim'. Needless to say, Anaheim's elected officials were far from thrilled. Citing a contentious, 1997-vintage, contractual agreement that was, originally, struck with the teams owner at the time, The Walt Disney Company, Anaheim hacks declared this renaming a contract violation.

The contract's relevant clause exchanges $30,000,000 from the city's coffers for stadium improvements for the owner's - including current owner Moreno - contractual promise to put 'Anaheim' in the team's name. That's why the 'California Angels' became the 'Anaheim Angels'.

'...Tenant will change the name of the Team to include the name 'Anaheim' therein, such change to be effective no later than the commencement of the 1997 season...' (The relevant clause from the stadium agreement)

The new name appears to fulfill the literal terms of this agreement, but it's the spirit of the agreement that has Anaheim officials going to court. Do they have a case? Maybe, but it's no slam dunk. Like most cities hosting a pro sports franchise, Anaheim officials struck a Faustian bargain with a team and got royally shafted. Arte Moreno demonstrated conclusively that he's just another team owning asshole who doesn't give a flaming damn about his host city or its taxpayers.. You heard it here first.

Afterthoughts
"The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim"? It's more than garden variety asinine. It's goddamn insulting.

Where does this naming crap end? Why can't other teams "cash in" on the lucrative Hell-A market? Other 'small market' franchises would benefit at least as much as the Angels. How about "The Los Angeles Padres of San Diego", "The Los Angeles Twins of Minnesota", "The Los Angeles Royals of Kansas City", "The Los Angeles Diamondbacks of Arizona", or "The Los Angeles Mariners of Seattle"? The Hell-A team moniker express has room for every-damn-body. Why should Arte 'Backstabbing Bastard' Moreno be the only one?

– Compiled by T.D. Treat